Something Beautiful - 5.31.12

This morning was going to be great!  It had all the makings of a good morning, I woke up on time, and didn't even snooze through an hour.  I had some great thoughts and looked decent and was on time and was walking out the door when I got some pretty stinkin heartbreaking news, and there went the greatness of the day.  Someday's it just doesn't seem fair.  But, tonight I logged onto a least favorite place and saw this picture and my first thought was just that...Beautiful!

Copyright Richard K Webb

Beautiful to know that the sweet family in my prayers today have the promise of forever with their little boy.  Beautiful to know that I have that same promise if I start behaving myself.  Beautiful ... the ways he softens my stony heart and gives me hope.  Beautiful...The earthly reminders that we have to know that Heaven really isn't that far away.

My personality - 5.30.12

So I have decided I am bipolar...yep it's true! No if ands or butts about it. One second I am so OCD I can hardly stand and the next I could care less about anything. One second I could be yelling at someone and the next I am acting like we are best friends... Hour by hour, minute by minute I am going to be a little crazier!!

A # 5.29.12

Favorite time of day...when these four numbers line up just right!

Maybe it's just because it's fun to say its 11:11.

But probably more so because for that one minute the dreamer comes out an OF COURSE I have to make a wish that is SURELY going to come true. Someday. Soon. But if not...

Today's weather - 5.28.12

The weather couldn't have been any better today.

Thank you to all those who gave up their yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's so that I could enjoy mine.

Remembering my special veteran today

Something sweet - 5.27.12

Talk.done.finally.

Surprisingly enough I didn't say very many things that I prepared. And I cried. A lot.

The something sweet has actually been happening all week but was really evident today.

I have some really great friends, friends that are willing to cry with me. Friends that are willing to pray for me. Friends that smile at me when I am sad. Friends that make sure to come and give me amazing hugs. Friends who will be friends for life, even at four and nine years old. These two sweet little girls...I just love them! I hope that they know how much light they bring to my life.

Amy had called me earlier in the week to see how I was doing and while we are on the phone little miss Maggie asked her who she was talking to and when she told her it was me Maggie without even missing one single beat said "tell her my kids are praying for her". Of course that brought even more tears to both Amy and I. Simple, sweet truths that I do not doubt.

I know there Angels on both sides of the veil who visit me daily and help me get through moments that I don't think or don't know how I will make it on my own.  I am thankful for all of those who help me remember this sweet blessing.

D& C 84:88

 And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

Thanks to all those who quietly responded to my crazy random text for help and prayers.  I know that it was ONLY because of prayers that I made it through my talk today.  

ps...Sorry Kelsey, I stole these pictures off FB.  

12 O'clock - 5.26.12

A million other things that I could/should be doing but right now I need a break.  I am supposed to be giving a talk in in Sacrament meeting in 22 hours. And I can't stop crying.  I haven't really been able to stop all week.  I decided I was going to give it my best effort today but after reading and crying and watching and listening I have one quote.  That's it.  Nothing else is sounding right.

The subject: Overcoming grief through the atonement of Jesus Christ.

Yep.

The tears are in part because of the sadness of remembering, and in part because of the gratitude of realizing.

I am struggling with exactly what to say without saying too much.  Do I talk about how there are days when I am so sure that I will see my Dad again and have such hope for that day, or do I talk about how there are days when I am positive the sun is no longer shining and I simply do not want to get out of bed.  Do I talk about how I know the Lord is very much aware of me and has prepared my heart for this time in my life or do I talk about how entirely alone I feel wishing for a small piece of comfort.

Praying for a parting of the clouds for wisdom. Hoping it shows up soon, I am sure that no matter how slow I read I can't make one quote stretch out for 10 minutes.

Unusual 5.25.12

I have been dying to wear my rain boots all week, just because they are cute and I love them. But, I think it is kind of silly to wear rain boots when it is 90 degrees and sunny outside. Maybe I should change my way of thinking because they are that cute but still...

This morning I woke up a tiny bit done with the day. I decided that I was going to take serious advantage of casual Friday. Me wearing shorts...not something you see often. Me wearing shorts to work...UNUSUAL!!!

But it worked out just fine...oh yeah back to the rain boots...I was so bummed to see that it was cloudy and kind of sprinkling when I left my house to go to work. Would have been a perfect day for the rain boots...I guess next time!

Something new 5.24.12

Had something else I was going to post about that was gonna be great, but this evening has been one of those so instead here you go.

New running gear. I don't know what closet fairy ate my summer gear but don't you worry. I got new stuff. What is that you say? Does it really glow in the dark?

Why yes, yes it does! It will be hard to miss me at night running now. I think maybe the goal was to let the the aliens know I was out of my house or something. The shirt is bright enough I am pretty sure they can see it from mars!

Technology 5.23.12

So technology and I, we have a love/hate relationship. Some days we love each other other days....well not so much. Unfortunately today was one of the not so much ones. It's hard to operate a business that is based on the telephone when your phones aren't working :)

But seriously...the things we can do now because of technology...it's CRAZY! The fact that I do more photo editing with my phone than with my computer. Crazy!! Crazy!!!

This picture is of the token I have to use to login to my banking accounts for work. The numbers change every minute no matter where you are. To me that is crazy that you can have a tiny little thing do what it needs to do! Mind boggling I tell you.

I saw a cartoon that I had to laugh at. It said something along the lines of being able to tell your grandkids that you were around before the Internet. True that!

More pink

I know I already posted for today, but I had to share this pink.

I kind of feel like I had a bomb dropped on me last night. A big one. One that I am not sure I am ready for. One that is going to continue to be hard. One that you might look and wonder why I am making such a big deal about it. But it is a big deal to me, and I am not sure I am ready to face it.

But I am going to.

A dear sweet friend sent me some beautiful flowers and a kind message to try and cheer me up. Love the arrangement but this flower just stood out above the rest.

Pink 5.22.12

Welcome to summer! You know what happens when you spend ALL DAY in the sun and you are so careful to put sun screen on the baby you are watching every two hours so she doesn't get burned and you never put ANY on yourself???

Your skin turns pink!

Please excuse my white skin, it's kind of gross how white I am!

Mail 5.21.12

Yay...okay, so this really isn't what the picture is supposed to be today, but frankly I am exercising my right to choose ;) so here is the substitute from one of the days I missed.

I love getting mail...when it's not all bills. Thank heavens for May! Bring on the happy mail!

I love graduation announcements. Actually I love most things with pictures. But...I really love that these two lovely ladies thought of me. I love the fun memories that we have with each other. These were two of my sweet young women who mean so so much to me. They are also two people who fit into that category of people who were in my life at exactly the moment I needed them. They helped me to learn to laugh again after being sad for a really long time. Noelle and Tamra, I don't think I will ever forget our late night donuts and apple cider. You girls are amazing! Thanks for laughing with me so many times. You are two of my favorite people ever. Don't ever forget it!

And who doesn't love getting a cute wedding announcement. Especially from this cute girl! I am so so excited to see her reception. I think Kelsey and her mom are two of the most creative people I know! Love this family! I hope Austin quickly realizes just how lucky he is! Yay for June weddings!

Something I can't live without - 5.20.12

I team teach the 12-15 year old Sunday School class with one of the best ladies I know.  She and I have been great friends and have done a lot of crazy things together.  I sure do love her!  But, sometimes I worry I flake on her to much.  It's probably because I do.  Like last Sunday when I was supposed to teach the lesson and I text her Sunday morning to tell her I sick and not be able to make it.  I felt so bad about it that I decided there was no way in China I was going to do that to her this week.  Even if I didn't feel good and had been sick again this morning (too much sun, not enough fluids or food make for a sick me).  But I made it to teach the lesson.  I walked in thinking this is going to be one of those lessons....The one's that everyone is going to just look at you and not say a word.  The one where all of the kids are going to be thinking, will this woman please just shut up. Well, I had just got started giving my speal about how if I ran out throwing up that Myndi would take over the lesson when the Sunday School President came in to ask her to go to some teacher development class.  So I didn't have a backup plan, but sweet little Amanda, one of my most favorite young women in the whole world said a really sweet prayer that I would make it through the lesson and that they would learn something.  Bless her!

So I get started with the lesson, and in walks Brother Someone, (not sure who he even is, but I am pretty sure he is in the Sunday School Presidency).  I LOVE TEACHING TEENAGERS, but I don't like teaching adults so much, and I am not really sure why, but this guy made me nervous.  Probably the biggest reason was because I had only looked at the lesson one time and that had been just a quick glance through to see what the lesson was on and if I needed to prepare anything special.  Not my best lesson!

Anyway, the lesson was on our Membership in the Church of Jesus Christ.  Isn't it amazing how when you are thinking about something there is a little parting of the clouds and an amen comes down.  Today lesson was a case in point... I had been thinking about the picture today "Something I can't live without" and as I was teaching that amen came.

I can't live without my testimony.  I have tried, trust me I have.  There have been several moments in the last year that I have thought I could just throw in the towel and be done with everything I knew.  But, it always comes back, usually full circle to that sweet reminder that I know better.  I can't live without the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and that He loves me enough to give me opportunities to grow and become a better person.  I can't live with the knowing that I have a kind and loving older brother who was willing and able to come live a cruel life and atone for my sins and pay my price to return to live with my Heavenly Father, and because of his atonement that I ALWAYS have someone who knows exactly what I am going through.  I can't live without the knowledge that Joseph Smith as a young man went into a grove asking a simple question and there He saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  I can't live without knowing that President Thomas S. Monson is a prophet of God who leads the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints today, and that He receives revelation directly from Heavenly Father.

And more importantly to me today... I can't live without the knowledge that Families can be forever and that because of everything else that I know as a Member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I know I will see my Dad again.  It's what keeps me going on the days I don't want to.  It is what gives me the desire to be a better person.  It is what gives me hope.  It is what gets me out of bed every morning. Today, I can't live without that.

A place I went today - 5.19.12

First of all...happy birthday to my sweet sister Heather Delyla! D I hope you know how much I love you! Wish I could be there to celebrate with you.

Next of all...todays picture. So I sell jewelry, kind of. Honestly haven't had the time to sell it as much as I want but still. Okay no long explanation tonight. Just getting to the point because I am falling asleep typo this!

Today I spent all day at a yard sale fund raiser for my wards youth conference. One of the best parts because her Mommy had to work and her Daddy was sick I had tons of cuddle time with miss Alex! Thanks Megan, Amy, Allison, Stacey, Jana and Amanda for all of your help with her. We spent most of the time with her sound asleep just like this picture. Loved every second of it!

I also remembered today just how much I LOVE LOVE working with teenagers. Such a great day!

Wish I was there and You were here.

Wishing I was home tonight. Somedays the distance from here to there might as well be the moon.

Thank you to all those who are there helping my Mom this weekend. I am sure there is at least one angel up there smiling down on you. In my mind he misses times like this. Times spent with his family, working together. I think he even misses arguing with Uncle Kim. Maybe...but He could be to busy doing his thing too. Or he could be thinking that He has a crazy daughter that is way to emotional and thinks about the things she has no clue about WAY TOO MUCH! Who knows!!

Tonight I just know that I am extremely blessed to have such a wonderful family and friends who are always so willing to serve. Whether its building a garage or siding a house or getting some sad people out of the house to enjoy a day sledding... They gladly do it. A great example for sure.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It means more to me than you know!

One more thing I know tonight..I miss my Dad...a lot. It's going to be one of those cry yourself to sleep nights. But hasn't science proven that tears are good for your skin? Maybe they are still working on that one.

Something I made 5.18.12

When I was home for a few days in march Kris an I decided to attempt to learn to make cinnamon rolls.

I (as normally happens) just had to spend some time playing with Gracie and the kids because I was leaving to go home the next day while Hannah and my Mom made the dough. But they really didn't need me, and let's be honest...I don't bake so I am pretty sure it was okay that I skipped that part.

When it came to the actually cinnamon rolls...well let's just say probably a better name do these would have been chocolate with a little tiny bit of bread and some cinnamon and butter. Our family (thank you Dad) likes chocolate chips instead of raisins in our cinnamon rolls and Kris and I might have went a little overboard on the amount we used...just a bit! But...they turned out divine, not big and beautiful like other cinnamon rolls other people I know and love make, but put chocolate with almost anything and I am going to scarf it down! (as a side note I will not eat limes dipped in chocolate again, they were not so good).

And Amy...you can be proud of me, I did remember from that one time in YW's when we made cinnamon rolls and you said to use dental floss to cut them...I remembered...we had the ...um...the best...um...we ha some really great cinnamon rolls that night!

Ps...this is another picture of me that you will see VERY FEW and far between...me. In.the.kitchen. And not because I was eating. It happens, not very often, but sometimes.

Snack 5.17.12

Oh my heck!!

Today the songs in my head were:

Giselle from Enchanted singing the happy working song (confession I might have wanted to turn some mean people into bugs today)

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger - thank you Kelly

And of course.... I'm trying to be like Jesus...(trying and failing the majority of the day)

But... It wasn't all bad ;) and to preface the explanation I just need to say that I thoroughly appreciate the people I work with and for. I absolutely LOVE that there are only 4 females that work in our office and we all get along well. LOVE IT!!!

And back to today's picture...and amazing co workers...dear sweet Miss Tayler (who is absolutely gorgeous inside an out) made a comment during one of the five seconds that I was away from my desk about how she needed chocolate...of course my automatic response....me too! So that sweet girl showed up at my desk less than three minutes later with a bag of peanut M&m's...they hit the spot! A great snack, even if I was way to busy to eat them until almost four hours later.

You know you work with great people when she starts sending you instant messages every 5 minutes to remind you that you haven't eaten lunch yet and when you finally decide that there is no possible way that you can take a break to get lunch she goes and gets it for you. Thanks again Tayler! You rock girly.

I need to learn to do nice things for her though...we decided we are going to a hostile takeover of the company and she is going to be the new CEO. Always good to be on the CEO's good side right? From the receptionist to the CEO...I feel really good about it!

What I am reading 5.16.12

I am not much of a reader. I was actually surprised when I realized I was reading this many books! But just to set the record straight there is only one of these that I read for more than 15 minutes at a time.

It's not that I don't like to read I usually just don't make the time for it.

Love 5.15.12

So I was going to do an ode to my car air freshener - which I do love but I had a humbling experience that changed my mind. I could list a bazillion things that I love right here right now but for the sake or your time I am just going to list one (ish)

I love that Heavenly Father knows me well enough to put the exact people I need in my life at exactly the right time. I love those people who fit this category...well most of them. - there might have been some of them that I prayed would get attacked by spiders but still... I love that they look past my imperfections and weaknesses to see a better person than the one I see looking back in the mirror at me. I love how patient they are with me. I love that they encourage me to do things I dont think I can, or may not want to do. I love that they don't give up on me, even when I give up on myself. I love that when I hurt or disappoint them they care enough about me to help me pick up the pieces and keep going...sometimes on a daily basis. I LOVE that they love me for me. Someday and hopefully that someday is soon I hope to Love me that way too.

This Lovely was sent to me by one of those sweet people I love tonight...it was a great treat to come home from work to find.

Thanks to you all for everything you do to help me love more.

Grass 5.14.12

So I work at a golf course, not for a golf course but at a golf course. I love it! I especially love how green it is. Truth be told I LOVE grass and want a huge yard that I have to mow every week. But until then I guess I will just dream about this being my yard!

She Put the Music in Me . 5.13.12

I started this post on Sunday/Monday when I wasn't sleeping.  The photo of the day on Monday was supposed to be someone who inspires me, but I just couldn't get it to sound the way I wanted to, so here we go again take 272:


Someone that inspires me:


My. Mom.
When I think of her - when anyone thinks of her I think they would use the term unconditional love.  My Mom doesn't care where you have been, or what you have done, she loves you just the way you are.

My Mom as a teenager. 

She has lived a life full of heartache.  She lost her mom when she was eight, her dad when she was 15. Dealing with this is something that is almost impossible for me to imagine.  There have been several moments in the last 8 months that I wasn't even sure how in the heck I was supposed to make it through today, let alone tomorrow without my Dad.  She has been such an example of living with faith and courage.  After loosing my Dad there were several days when I didn't think want to go on.  But my sweet angel mother led out like she always does, with a quite example of moving forward with life.  I have often thought about how she is the one always comforting me instead of what should be the other way around me comforting her.  My heart breaks for her as I watch her learning to do things without my Dad.  It breaks my heart, but still she keeps going.

When Kristin came home from her mission

My mom is a hard worker.  She is not one who is afraid to in an get her hands dirty.  There isn't anything she isn't willing to do either.  She is always the first to show up do to service and usually the last one to leave.


My Mom is also one of the most faithful women I know.  She believes. She Believes in a loving Heavenly Father who I know she has a good relationship with, She believes in the atonement of Jesus Christ, and She believes in her children....Even when we don't believe in ourselves.  I have watched her for several years as she has lovingly cared for her prodigal sons and daughters and just loved us.  Even when we made our mistakes.  Even when we broke her heart. Even when we let her down.  On my hard days I find hope knowing my mom is praying for me.

My mom is also the coolest Grandma and every one's favorite aunt.  I remember one time at a family reunion the grandkids wanted to go swimming but no one would take them so my mom got in the creek and swam with the kids, jeans and all.  She didn't care about ruining her clothes or messing up her hair.  To her people are more important than things.  She is one of those ladies who genuinely cares about others.  She is also very mindful of others.  She remembers birthdays of nieces and nephews that I have only met a few times.

Mom and Little Miss Alex  - a great Niece who she still adores!

My mom has always been encouraging of the people we want to be.  If it was important to us it was important to her.  She took me to piano lessons kicking and screaming, she came to every silly concert I had, she showed up at football and basketball games to watch me cheer.  She even came to a play where I was behind the curtains, playing the piano just to support me.


And now my Mom continues to lead with that quite example.  Even on her hard days when she can't feel the sun shining she continues to move forward, living for the day when she will be reunited with her eternal sweetheart and her parents.

Someday I hope to be the kind of mother she is.


I love you Mom!

Something that makes me happy 5.12.12

So many reasons this makes me happy...

1- strengthens my testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ on so many levels - specifically we are never completely lost or without hope, and although something's are really really hard time helps to heal wounds as do little girls, forgiveness is sometimes difficult but it is a gift, one we give ourselves and other people.

Another reason this makes me happy is how much these cute sisters love each other already! Sister Sue is an amazing big sister and Squeaker loves to smile for her.

Btw --- shout out to my amazingly talented family! Aunt Trish made Gracelyn's jewelry for the special occasion and Aunt Heather made her dress and Kaelee's skirt. All of it is beautiful!

Kitchen 5.11.12

Dear Grown Up Me,

Someday you will own your own home. Hopefully that someday is sooner than later! When you are looking for that home there is one thing that will be an absolute must for you. A amazing kitchen - now I know what you are thinking self...why do you care what your kitchen looks like you spend less than 3 hours in the kitchen in any given week. But I do care. Maybe it's because of all of the years of helping other people create their beautiful kitchens, maybe it's because deep down inside that is who you really want to be...the chocolate chip baking Mommy who loves baking with her kids. Regardless, it's going to happen...I am just warning you now. I won't settle for a house with a mediocre kitchen.

Love

Me

Ps, I am kind of a wood snob. Sure a natural oak looked great for Noah and the ark, but this girl loves some Dark Cherry or a rustic Alder or maple.

...please don't get offended if you are a fan of natural oak, I think it is pretty but somewhere along the lines of millions of track homes it had just lost its appeal with me. Just personal preference is all ;)

A favorite word 5.10.12

Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today, but eventually.

Somedays (like the ones that end in y) this is harder to remember than others. But...I. Am. Trying.

Me 5.6.12

I am:

An aunt
Kind of crazy and random
A sister
A daughter
Too emotional
A practical joker
Funny
My own worst enemy
A friend
Not perfect
Not my mistakes
Sometimes vain
A tiny bit crafty
A runner
A pyromaniac
A dreamer
A procrastinator
Not very patient
A workaholic
A believer
A work on progress
(probably a million other things that I can't think of right now)

...still trying to become who I want to be!


And just for a little fun...tell me (1) what the first thing you think of to describe me and (2) how you would describe yourself.

Fun! 5.4.12

Fun! Things that happened today:

Trip to az

Watching Kaelee run the 200

Visiting with Aunt Shanna

Watching my sisters be domestic and making cupcakes for the wedding

Spending time with Kaelee and Jens

Helping set up for the wedding

Late night Sonic run with Stef

Singing fun!

Being home

Something I wore 5.3.12

Normally I dress pretty professionally for work...not so much this week. I knew today was going to be crazy busy stressful so I opted for comfortable. These trusty bad boys got me through the day, but at one point I was literally running back and forth from my bosses office...it might have been the extra pill I took this morning, but I am going to blame it on the shoes!

Peace 5.1.12

Today more than ever I need this.