" Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome."

FABULOUS FRIDAY
the reasons

Institute -

 I love how it seems like the messages are directed right for me

It was also a small answer to prayers that one of my institute teachers from a few years ago remembered me, and because he did he was able to give me some comforting words.

Walking in the rain

A good friend and I have started walking on a regular basis, but one night it was raining.  Those walks are always my favorite!  It seems like a release for me to be able to walk in the rain.  It always reminds me of this song.

If you ask HIM if He's ever over looked you or ceased to love you so,
HE'LL SAY NO.
Poor Stacey - Thanks for listening to me rant and rave! 

Visits from an old friend  - Harsh Brutal Honesty

Do you have those people in your life that can say exactly what you need to hear, and when they are saying it they are not being very nice but being completely honest, and you listen without getting mad.  Yep, I had a visit with one of those friends this week.  It was actually really great.  He reminded me that I am an amazing person worth loving right now, just like I am and that I need to let people see that instead of changing to be what I think they want me to be... no problem right.  

Patient Co-workers and Boss

I work for/with some pretty amazing people.  I have been extremely blessed by their patience as I have been trying to deal with the by-polar me.  I am sure it is not easy to see me with a smile one minute and then mad at the whole world the next.   The girl I share an office with just happens to be one of the most CHRISTLIKE people I know.  She really inspires me to want to be a better person.

A Cooking Undisaster

I wouldn't necessarily call it a cooking success, but I made some soup and it is edible...to me at least, if you don't like pepper it might not be.  This is a huge accomplishment for me because I feel like I don't do well with cooking.  I even went out of my comfort zone and added tomatoes to my soup, which I was thinking I was crazy  the whole time I was doing it because I HATE TOMATOES!!!

Tender Mercies and Priesthood Blessings

In order to not trifle with sacred things lets just say someone REALLY GREAT received a really great blessing that she was instructed to share with us.  It came at that moment when I needed it. It brought peace, it brought comfort, it brought tears, it brought hope. 

HEIDI

My cousin Mat married an ANGEL, no two ways to put it.  Heidi is an amazing person!  She is such a sweet heart always thinking of other people.  I think she must know how much MUSIC speaks to me, sometimes that is the only way I can get the message.  She has been sending me wonderful little songs to cheer me up.  This is the one she sent me today: (I am still working on it Heidi...the not giving up part) Thanks for the reminder that My Dad is still here with me. 

A Good Haircut
Bless Myndi's heart!  My hair (mostly my bangs) were beginning to look like a bad mess trying to take over my head.  It is amazing how much better life is when you don't have a bad hair day everyday. Myndi is always kind enough to help me with my hair (and makeup, and relationships, and bad days, and callings, and life) woes

Lori Morris
You know those people who are just fabulous just because that is who they are...My new friend Lorrie is that way.  I know that she doesn't know how much comfort I find in Cello music, but I know that Someone else does and used her to bless my life.  I woke up grumpy one morning, but found a reason to smile when she sent me this video.

It was calming to my soul.

More Honest Words & Laughter & Someone Who Loves Me With My Mistakes
(Really, those all needed to be in caps)
Sometimes I mess things up.  Sometimes those mistakes are bigger than Dallas, heck bigger than the whole state of Texas.  Sometimes (Most of the time) I end up hurting people who are close to me when I do. And all the time I have a dear sweet friend who can be honest with me (even when I am not honest with myself), laugh with me, and still love me...Even with my mistakes.  You know what they call that...
Charity.
(Something I am working towards possessing)
Thanks Stackhouse!

Crazy Dreams
One morning I had a crazy dream that made me laugh, right out loud!  I dreamed I was the lead singer in Destiny's Child, we were on stage and I was singing my heart out to SURVIVOR.  3 problems with that:
1. I can't sing
2. I can't dance
3. Um...Let's not talk about it.
At least it is a good song to have stuck in your head ALL DAY right?

Almost Wordless Wednesday

"We don't really know what we believe in or care

 about until what we believe in or care about is

threatened, challenged or measured. "

(Sheri Dew, If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard)

cute story behind these pictures:

My nephew Hunter was so worried about the dirt getting on his Grandpa when he was buried. Thankfully the mortician was very kind and compassionate and took the time not only to show Hunter how they were going to keep the dirt off Grandpa, but also let him be very involved with helping.  The first picture they are placing the cover over the casket "just to make sure no dirt gets on him", and the second Hunter is running the equipment to lower the casket. 

A touching moment came with the third picture when Rustin, (little blonde in the white shirt tan pants next to Lane in the blue shirt) said "Good-bye Grandpa".  This is a very raw picture, one where I think all of us were reminding ourselves that this wasn't forever, that thanks to the Plan of Salvation WE WILL see our Dad & Grandpa again.  Looking forward to that day.  

Memory Monday

My Dad was amazingly smart.  There have been a lot of times that I wish I was more like him in regards to his love for knowledge.  He liked to read and study, and he was so full of information and always had the answers on how to do everything.  Some of my favorite times were when he was helping me with school projects.  Sadly, even at a young age I was known to procrastinate any major assignments I had, but Dad was always there to step in and save the day.  I think I had the COOLEST science project (I remember I won a blue ribbon) in 4th grade when a few days before WE (mostly he because I didn't have any better ideas) decided to experiment and test the PH levels on common household products to see if they were an acid base or neutral.  HONEST CONFESSION: before that I had absolutely no clue what those even meant before that project.  He brought home some PH  testing strips from the Paper Mill and away we went testing chemicals.  I remember him helping me write everything up and Mom and Shell helping me put the poster together.  When everyone else was hauling in their Volcano's that everyone else had been making for years I was the COOLEST thing ever because I had a project that no one else had ever seen before, and I learned something while I was doing it.

In 5th Grade when we were studying the development of America I had an assignment to create an Indian dwelling.  This time I decided to make it interesting (Okay I procrastinated really bad) and started that project the night before.  Well of course I decided to do a tee-pee, I started hot gluing my skewers in a circle, really creating a mess is what I was doing.  I couldn't get it to stand up and it was covered in gobs of glue.  Very patiently my Dad decided to set down and help me.  We had a great time, cutting and lacing the small sticks together and then he helped me cover it with some brown material. Of course he had the eye for presentation so he helped me put it on a board and create a river to help it look better.   I got an A on that project too.

In 8th grade science he helped me create a pop can smasher.  Of course I was thinking of doing something small and simple...but nope Dad got involved and I had the best pop can smasher ever, complete with a whole just the perfect size to smash the cans to the smallest possible shape.  He was just amazing like that and had such an eye for the details.

Another school project that he helped me create was in 2nd grade when he built a leprechaun trap.  He did such a good job building it that it actually worked!  We caught the leprechaun but he had his girlfriend with him and she was able to get them out and he got away.  I know this because the leprechaun left me a note. This project got my picture in the local newspaper which I thought was pretty stinkin cool.  My little sisters used the trap after me.

There is a popular country song out right now by Trace Adkins..."Just Fishin" that reminds me of this.   While my Dad never took me fishing, I will always treasure the moments that he took with me to help me out with my school projects.

Memory Monday....Your participation is welcomed and encouraged and NEEDED

"PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID...BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL."

Since loosing my Dad I have had a significant struggle realizing all of the things He is going to miss not being here.  There has been a part of me that has been a little upset (Who I am trying to kid....I have been REALLY upset) in knowing that He won't be here (physically)  for the big things - The weddings of his five daughters, the birth of his grandkids, surely their first serving of ice cream at a much younger age then suggested, their baptisms, their weddings, my days when I just need to talk to Dad, as well as the hundreds of sports events, concerts, reunions, camping trips, birthdays, and vacations. I have also shed many tears in the millions of little things (like the phone calls to ask how to fix my cooking) that make me miss him.  

I think part of my reasoning for having thoughts about this is because both of my Grandpas passed away before my parents were even married.  I always imagined what they would be like, how much they would spoil me, how fun it would be to set on their laps and have them tell me stories.  I always wanted that for my kids, I wanted them to have a special connection with their Grandpa.  Since someone else has a different plan than I do and decided he was needed elsewhere, I decided that I need to do things so that my kids (and husband) can know who their Grandpa was.

Long story short...I am going to do a Memory Monday Book with memories of my Dad.  Hopefully I can get my Mom, Grandma, Siblings, Nieces, Nephews, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, ....everyone who knew my Dad on board to share some of their memories so that I can have them published in a nice big book full of stories to share about him.  If you have a memory or any pictures that you would like to share (please oh please....even something you might think is simple will be something that we will treasure) please feel free to leave a comment here or you can e-mail me at becca.(dot)boo82@yahoo.com or beccapenrod82@yahoo.com

Thanks for all of your continued prayers, love and service to me and my family.  How blessed we are to have such wonderful caring people in our lives.  

  

Come What May, and Love It...The Start of Something FABULOUS

I can remember very well a scene in my head from almost exactly five years ago. I was setting in my somewhat empty house, all alone; feeling like my world was over. My soon to be ex-husband had been in the process of moving out and I could feel things getting worse every day. Consistent with my actions at that time (Okay let’s be honest I still am guilty of this) I hadn’t slept for more than a couple of hours in days, needless to say I was an overly emotional, somewhat empty, brokenhearted person. Trying to find any hope at all I decided to that I was going to make a bargain with the Heavens. Of course I had been praying for a while that some magic fairy would come in, wave her wand and save the day and my marriage with her magic. That obviously hadn’t happened so I decided that I was going to put a little more faith and trust in my Heavenly Father, and if I was very prayerful and fasted (which wasn’t hard either since I was eating so well…or not) during conference then I expected to clearly receive the answer I had been looking for that was going to save my marriage. Well, to make a story shorter (Sorry I need to work on that) I sat down in front of the TV to watch the Saturday morning session, notebook in hand and proceeded to listen. There were some great talks that morning for sure, but none that spoke up and said “To fix all of your problems in life you need to…” like I was looking for, surprisingly enough.

Saturday afternoon I was yet again in tears (an almost constant state for me at the time) thinking that surely no one cared about me. I know, woe is me right… (please don’t feel bad, that isn’t the point of the story) when I set down to watch the afternoon conference I had started to lose faith that I was going to hear anything helpful and had decided that General Conference was only for those people who were perfect (because I knew so many at the time…right), it was only for those who weren’t struggling, who remembered who they were, it was for everyone else but me. Still, I and sat and watched…And then it happened. This kind old man who I imagined to be the sweetest Grandpa in the world got up to talk, and I was comforted. The whole time he was speaking I thought that surely this is how my Grandpa’s would be if either of them were alive. I fell in love with cute little Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, and I had a wonderful spiritual experience during his talk. The funny thing, he wasn’t talking about how to save your marriage, or how to overcome adversity. In fact his talk "Sunday Will Come", was nothing I thought I had been looking for. Still, with his words came a feeling of comfort and peace. I knew that I was not alone in my trials and that I had a loving Heavenly Father who was aware of exactly what I was going through, and that they wouldn’t last forever. My Favorite quote from that talk was is this:

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come.

In this life or the next,

Sunday will come."

 (Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, October 2006)

Now fast forward a couple of years to 2008…I am in Utah moving forward with my life. I would like to humor you all and tell you that I was a completely different person and that I didn’t have any struggles or cares at all. That is partly true, kind of. I had grown and become such a better person, (some people even considered me to be nice if you can believe that), but like everyone I still had my struggles. Sure, I wasn’t as deep in the dumps as I was during 2006, but I was still facing a little bit of the blues. Life just wasn’t going the way that I wanted it to, or the way I thought it should. I had spent the year before really taking care of myself, eating well and exercising like I should, even running a marathon. I thought for sure I would have been married and on my way to my happily ever after…But I wasn’t. Early that summer I had let the stress of my crazy job get to me and was currently dealing with stomach ulcers (thanks heavens for Malox, I could drink that stuff by the cups). So I couldn’t run anymore, I wasn’t dating Prince Charming, I wasn’t in school, work was so crazy…Blah Blah (I know…I have nothing at all to complain about) to say the least I was discouraged.

I found myself again looking for some words of wisdom to solve all of my problems as October conference rolled around. I will be honest and say that I was not as prepared for that conference the way I should have. At that time I was working too much and sleeping too little and so when my weekends rolled around I usually slept them away trying to make up for the lack of sleep during the week. Saturday morning conference was great…a great nap. I tried (not very hard) to stay awake and take notes but it just didn’t happen. Saturday afternoon rolled around and I had given up any hope of staying awake for the session. As they read the sustaining of the church officers I had a great “pondering session” about the Lehi’s dream. I thought I was out for the count, and then I heard it…The voice of the sweetest Grandpa in the whole world. This time he sounded a little older, but I knew he was going to say something great. I was right. Do you remember that talk, “Come What May, and Love It”… Who didn’t love that talk. Again, I imagined it would have been just what either one of my Grandpa’s would have said if they were still here so the talk became very personal to me. He discussed many things in his talk but his conclusion to that talk summed it all up:

"As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother,

“Come what may, and love it.”

 (Joseph B. Wirthlin, October 2008)

I don’t know if you are anything like me, probably not, but sometimes I forget stuff. I forget in my moments of trials and heartache that there is a bigger plan. I get so focused on my own woe and misery that I forget to see the good in my life. And honestly there are times (Sometimes it minutes, sometimes hours, and yes, even still sometimes days) when I don’t want to see the good. I just want to wallow in my misery. As I have been attempting to focus more on the eternal perspective of things I have had a lot of thoughts that have brought me back to my Dad. I spend a lot of time thinking about how hard it has to be for him to see me upset like this. I don’t know about you, but I never liked disappointing Him, and I certainly don’t want to do it now. I know that He understands that this is hard, but I also know that He would want me to find ways to have strength again.

The last couple of days I have been having some thoughts about my perspective. I used to use a word a lot… A whole lot…everything in my life was “FABULOUS”. Sadly, that is a word that usually comes out of my mouth in a very sarcastic way anymore. In my attempt to “look for humor and seek an eternal perspective I have decided to start a “Fabulous Friday” post on my blog. It will be a place that I can “count my blessings” if you will and share the goodness of my life.

Now, I know, trust me, I know, there will be days when I don’t feel like there is anything “Fabulous”, but I also know that there are a lot of blessings, silver linings, tender mercies that I am missing because I am not looking for them. I hope that you don’t think this means that “I am over it” and that it doesn’t hurt that my Dad is gone, because it still does. Everyday. Most of the day. But I know my Dad would probably say “Come What May, and Love It”

 

Almost Wordless Wednesday

And how THANKFUL I am that He does. 

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

A few of my loves: