A million other things that I could/should be doing but right now I need a break. I am supposed to be giving a talk in in Sacrament meeting in 22 hours. And I can't stop crying. I haven't really been able to stop all week. I decided I was going to give it my best effort today but after reading and crying and watching and listening I have one quote. That's it. Nothing else is sounding right.
The subject: Overcoming grief through the atonement of Jesus Christ.
Yep.
The tears are in part because of the sadness of remembering, and in part because of the gratitude of realizing.
I am struggling with exactly what to say without saying too much. Do I talk about how there are days when I am so sure that I will see my Dad again and have such hope for that day, or do I talk about how there are days when I am positive the sun is no longer shining and I simply do not want to get out of bed. Do I talk about how I know the Lord is very much aware of me and has prepared my heart for this time in my life or do I talk about how entirely alone I feel wishing for a small piece of comfort.
Praying for a parting of the clouds for wisdom. Hoping it shows up soon, I am sure that no matter how slow I read I can't make one quote stretch out for 10 minutes.
2 comments:
You say it all. And then you summarize with your line at the top:
The tears are in part because of the sadness of remembering, and in part because of the gratitude of realizing.
That's amazingly profound.
A lady in my Ward who's husband took his life a few days after Christmas had to talk on a similar subject. At first I thought, That's so mean to ask her to do that! But then when I heard her testimony and could feel her strength and faith, I realized that not just anyone can deliver a powerful, moving message like that on such a deep subject.
You'll do great. ;)
We are sending prayers your way. You will do a wonderful job. I know that when I speak that much of my talk is songs. I speak the songs. (if you remember, you kindly found the words to a song for me as we were traveling back and forth between Casper and Springville) Is there a song that you could use?? Love you tons and wishing you the best of luck and wishing you were here with us for this special weekend.
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