Hope

"Before faith or knowledge is found, before joy or happiness is experienced, before the healing begin, one emotion starts to stir from deep within the depths of despair. It is hope." - Emily Freeman

The last few months I have had many many opportunities to reflect on hope, to evaluate what I hope for, and to realize what I hope in.  I was able to attend Time Out for Women twice this year, the theme this year was infinite hope.  One of my favorite things that I took away from the meeting was this - The things I find Hope in will sustain me while I wait for the things on my hope for list to happen.  How great is that!  I love it when a simple truth hits me on the head and just make since but brings me comfort and peace and clarity.  

This Christmas season I have had many opportunities to recognize HOPE in my life.  I have hope in the atonement of Jesus Christ, I have hope in the Lords plan of happiness, I find hope in a knowledge that my Savior and Father in Heaven know me personally.  I find HOPE in the knowledge that my Savior does not make up the differences in my life, but that He makes all the difference.  I find HOPE in knowing that He will be with me in my darkest hours, to help me and comfort me, to give me strength and help me see JOY!  

This weekend my hope increased... I was so blessed to spend one last weekend with two of the cutest kids in the world.   After spending about 3 hours of trying to keep Mason asleep and finally figuring out He would stay asleep if he could feel my hand My HOPE was strengthened and increased.  I find HOPE in knowing that someday I will be able to be a mother.  My hope was increased again when I read the blog of a sweet example in my life who was able to take her 2nd little adopted angel to the Temple to be sealed to their Family.  Hope is alive in me, and I know it is because I have a Father who loves me.  

I love the following clip from Elder Holland.  Someday's it is hard for me to realize that I am not in charge, and than all of my blessings won't come when I demand them, but I have HOPE that they will come! 

May you all find hope in this Christmas season.  

Where's the line to see Jesus

So... I have decided if I want to have a Christ centered Christmas I need to center my life around Christ.  Pretty simple right, but that is me, most of the time I put way to much work into thinking of a solution that I miss the simplicity of the real answer.  I have found a lot of really good ideas from a book by Emily Freeman "A Christ Centered Christmas".


One of my favorite Christmas traditions is always going to the Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean.  I have seen this show quite a few times (It is on DVD) and every single time I am completely touched and taken back by what seems to be a different part of the program.  Of course I will be honest and say I cried through the whole thing but there was several parts that particularly called my name.





A song that for years has touched my heart "What I need"


All I ever wanted,
All I ever dreamed of
Everything I hoped
And all the things I prayed for
Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given
I've been given what I need


No mansion on a hill
Or Love like in the movies
Perfect little dreams
Where no one has a problem
Instead of all those things I thought I really wanted
I've been given what I need


Even when I didn't understand
When I thought you had no heart
Thank you for rejecting my demands
And always giving me the better part

All I ever wanted,

All I ever dreamed of

Everything I hoped

And all the things I prayed for

Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given 

I've been given what I need

(Michael McLean)

-----

Now don't call me crazy, I still wish for things - - Prince Charming, perfect Children, a house, to be finished with school.  But I know that right now at this very moment in my life I have what I need.  I firmly believe that there will be a time and a place for those things in my life, but it's not today.  

How thankful I am for the times that my loving Father in Heaven has said "No" even to some of the very most righteous desires of my heart.  In the last four years I feel like I have grown up a lot and become more of who I was meant to be instead of a selfish little girl who I had been.  How thankful I am for a patient Father in Heaven who doesn't give up on me, even when I give him plenty of grief.  

What a blessing it is to me to have this holiday season to remember and try to give thanks for the wonderful gift of the Savior of the world.  May we all find time to remember Him this month. May we spend as much if not more time looking for Jesus as we do for Santa

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=pPViKJRHyZo&vq=medium

To start the season:

Confession:  I like many of you want to be a better person.  I want to be more Christ like, more giving, more quick to lend a hand, less selfish, slower to judge, a better peacemaker.  I have had several thoughts on my mind especially the last month, and I have come to a decision.  This holiday season I want to make it a truly "Christ Centered Christmas"... I am looking for any ideas to help me accomplish this.  Any suggestions?

Happy Veterans Day

Ray Stevens- Thank you

One Year Older and Wiser too....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOLLY

To Me you are:

• Someone who knows me and still loves me

•  Someone who knows when I need a hug

•  Someone who makes me smile when you think of them
• Someone to think about when the windows rattle in a storm

• Someone who makes the world a better place by just being there
• Someone who accepts me for who and what I am
• Someone who stands by me even on your off days
•  Someone who would walk through pouring rain to pick a flower for me
•  Someone to laugh, cry or play with me when you need a friend
•  Someone to help me in the tough times but let me learn from my mistakes
• Someone who knows what I am worth it
• Someone who takes time out of her crazy busy life of being a mom and wife to make sure I get a spiritual message just for me
• Someone who is great, just because you are you
• Someone who I miss everyday, but I know you are always there when I need you
• Someone who is patient with me, even when I don't call or write
• Someone who I can't imagine not being in my life
• Someone I thank Heavenly Father for every day

I hope that you have a great day!  Wish I could be there to enjoy it with you.  Love you tons!

ps...Don't die of shock, but your present is in the mail!  

But if not...

Do you ever look at your life and think "I thought it would be different" or "When I am 25 I am going to be..."  Hold that thought, I may get back to it.

So as told in my last post, changes were coming, and most of those changes have come.  On September 19th, after putting on a lovely "Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful" ball for our Young Women and their dads the night before I was released from my calling as the first councilor in the Young Women Presidency.  While I had had weeks to prepare for the release it was still really hard. I have come to love the Young Women and the leaders who I was blessed to serve with so much.  My visiting teacher hit the nail right on the head when she said "It's like your loosing your family".  I feel like that!  These wonderful young ladies have become some of my closest friends as we have served together, prayed together, fasted together, cried together, worried together, spent a lot of really late nights talking together, and loving each other together.

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected." 

 ~Nicholas Sparks

It has been really hard adjusting to it, and still after a month I still wake up on Tuesday morning stressed about what we are doing for our activity, and remembering what I forgot I said I would do and then forgot to do.  I have had a few of those "Are they going to be alright without me" feelings, and there have been times that I still just break right down and cry like a baby.  Call me crazy but I hate change.  I thought I would be a lot less busy, but not true! I am still just as busy, but I think it is a different busy now.  I have actually been able to pick up another class on Tuesday night which has been nice. 

Segueing on... But if not... 

I loved LOVED LOVED! watching General Conference a couple of weeks ago.  Can I make an honest confession? Yes I can because this is my blog ... This was the first time in a REALLY long time that I actually watched or listened to all the sessions.  There were so many messages that I needed to hear.  I felt so very good about life after it was over.  One distinct impression was that I needed to earnestly pray for the things that are important to me and be more diligent and say more heartfelt prayers.  That Sunday night after conference I had a very interesting experience, similar to ones I have had in the past where I say something in my prayer and think THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING!, in other words a small answer, usually having to do with the condition of where my heart is and where it needs to be.   Anyway I am praying away pouring out my heart about something I really want and something that is a good thing and then out of my mouth comes the words: "BUT IF NOT" what!!!  Yep it actually came out of my mouth.  I decided this was a lesson I really need to learn.  When I was a little girl I had my life planned out perfectly down to the color of hair my children would have.  I was going to be successful, the coolest mom on the block(probably because that was my mom), and the most popular lady in the ward (yah, I am not really sure where that one came from).  When I moved to Utah I was going to finish my degree in 2 years and be making my millions... hopefully you get my point, life hasn't exactly turned out the way I thought it would, but that doesn't mean it can't be happy.  I think that I need to learn right now that it is really great to have dreams and plans and to work towards making those dreams come true "BUT IF NOT" it is just fine to be happy and bloom right where you are planted.  

Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling. 

~ Margaret Lee Runbeck

"BUT IF NOT" I need to remember that I am not alone in this life that I have a Heavenly Father and a Savior who love me, and that I am truly blessed. The times when I feel alone are the times that I stop looking for those who love, looking for those who care, looking for those who want to see me be happy.  

My release from Young Womens has left with the opportunity to make some decisions (Yuck)!  The biggest of where I want to go to church.  While I have loved and needed to be in the family ward I decided to start attending a singles ward (AAAAHHH).  Now please don't take this as a plea to fix my current marital status - Not the purpose at all.  I have just felt like I needed something to shake me up and make me grow a little bit (WOW!! I can't believe I actually admitted that out loud, hope it doesn't backfire on me) and that a singles ward is the place to do that. I actually went to my first one on Sunday, and I survived.  It didn't feel like home yet, but it will get there... "But if not"...    

Hope you are all doing well.  Please let me know if I can do anything for you.