Another Wordless Wednesday

...An understanding of God’s great plan of happiness, however, fortifies our faith in the future. His plan provides answers to ageless questions: Are all our sympathies and love for each other only temporary—to be lost in death? No! Can family life endure beyond this period of mortal probation? Yes! God has revealed the eternal nature of celestial marriage and the family as the source of our greatest joy.

Brethren and sisters, material possessions and honors of the world do not endure. But your union as wife, husband, and family can. The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. No sacrifice is too great to have the blessings of an eternal marriage. To qualify, one needs only to deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances of the temple. By making and keeping sacred temple covenants, we evidence our love for God, for our companion, and our real regard for our posterity—even those yet unborn. Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity, when we can “inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, … powers, dominions, … exaltation and glory.”

Russel M. Nelson, Oct 2001

Starting our first Christmas season without Dad.  We took a Charlie Brown Christmas tree to his grave.  He always liked those kind of trees.  Too bad it wasn't a blue spruce.  Those were his favorite.  Miss you Dad!

For Every Situation...

Tonight I did something that was hard. Something I didn't realize I hadn't done. Something that brought tears.  Tonight I sang. Odd you might think, but let me explain. (go ahead and put your feet up, you know how long it takes me to get to the point sometimes.)

I grew up with music in my home. Thankfully I was raised with a love for music, and from the time I was very young I was singing.  As a family we sing on car rides, while cleaning, while doing homework, riding on a float in a parade, doing our chores, camping, you name it we sing at it. We even had a very special experience of singing "Dad's Songs" - songs that he taught us, in the back of the "old chev" during his last ride (on our way to the cemetery)

Dad's Last Ride - we ALWAYS sign "I Love You" to each other, never more fitting than that day. 

Singing: It is something we do in our family.  

Kind of a crazy fact about me, I always have a song in my head (Not always or even usually a hymn) and I spend so much of my time relating my life to the songs in my vast library of music. I loved this when I saw it:

because I totally feel this 99.2% of the time.

(back to tonight)

So because I grew up singing and because I always have music in my head, and because I feel like every situation in life can be related to a song, VERY OFTEN that is how I get my feelings out.  Now don't get me wrong, my poor piano has taken the beatings of my foul moods a lot in the last little bit, and I have sung at church and in the car, but  in the last 10 weeks and 5 days I haven't had any of those quiet moments where I set down in front of my piano and just sing my heart out. 

I guess I lost my voice. 

I know I lost my desire.

I think I am still a little lost on my way.

But tonight I needed to. I needed to sing. I needed to be able to hear and speak those thoughts and feelings of my heart.

So I tried. 

It was ugly. 

It was a mess. 

It was frustrating. 

As I had decided that there was a reason I wasn't singing anymore I pulled out one of my favorite books, by my favorite Alto, (by the way I have a terrible range, when I used to sing a lot it was decent, but now it is pathetic so I am always glad when there are female artists who are alto's who publish music), actually by one of my favorite artists period, Hilary Weeks. I was going to give it one more try, and if it sounded like a pack of wild dogs outside I was going to put away my books and vow to never sing again (Okay maybe not that dramatic). Actually deep down I was going to be extremely disappointed and down in the dumps because I really needed to let go of some thoughts in my head. 

I guess you could say the Heavens parted (not literally) because what happened next was a small blessing, a tender mercy moment for me.  I am not saying that I sang the best I have ever sung, because I probably didn't, but the spirit of the song allowed me to give my feelings a voice.  I got lost in the message that I was singing, and had several small "amens" to the words coming out of my mouth. I didn't care that I was in tears and had mascara dripping down my face, I didn't even care that I wasn't hitting every note perfectly. It was just a moment where I could be reassured that  I am not alone.  Here is the song:  

And in the moments when no earthly words can take away your sorrow,

And no human eyes can see what you're going through

When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do

He will lift your heavy load and carry you. 

After I was done singing that song I closed the book. That was enough. I just sat there for a minute hoping that the windows in heaven were open so that my Dad could hear me sing. I think it would have made him smile. 

Inch by Inch

Fabulous Happenings


Half Marathon

I would love to say I ran the whole thing, because I could have in the past.  

But I didn't.

(I haven't been running much at all since I lost my Dad)

But my feet did carry me 13.1 miles.

I got to dress up with one of my besties, Myndi 

I got to be scared and have great nightmares thanks to Lee. 

And I got to spend a lot of time talking about something someone who is giving me lots of reasons to smile these days. 

Becca & Myndi,
Ready to go at 5 am - We had been awake since 3:30 am!

Me trying to remember that running is fun!

Not what you want to see in your backseat at 5 am!

Yep, you better believe I had nightmares from this one!

Some of my favorite people!  On the bus, headed up to the start of the run

Myndi & I, Finished...Finally!

 If you have seen me "hobbling" this week, I think it was well deserved.  That is what happens when you run down hill right?  

Thanks Lee & Myndi for letting me do this with you!  

Not being able to walk

It reminds me that I never want to get old, and that I am a big baby!  I cried when I had to walk up the 4 steps to get into my house on Sunday after the run. 

Halloween

confession...this is probably my least favorite holiday of them all, and I think I am justified in having that opinion.  I don't have a good history of halloweens past.  But, with that being said.... this year was actually pretty fun.  I got to spend the morning getting my friend Amy and her kids ready to go. 

 Amy was Cruella De Ville, Averi was the Corpse Bride, Briggs was Frankenstien & 

Maggie was Glenda, The Good Witch. 

Maggie & spent most of the day together, I got to see some of my Pinnacle Friends, and then we got ready for our wards "Trunk or Treat" that night.  I was DONE by the time 3pm came around so I was a party pooper and didn't dress up.  

(I figure I had already dressed up twice for the month, I didn't need to do it again)

At the ward Trunk or Treat...Recognize the clown??? You  should!  (see above Pictures)
I might have kicked the 4 year old out of her stroller because I COULD NOT WALK ANYMORE.
Go ahead sing it "Fat girl in a little stroller" you know you want to :)

Getting Briggs Franky ready to go

Frankenstein

Corpse Bride

Glenda, The Good Witch

Thanks guys for letting me spend the day with you, and for letting me help you get ready to go!  Can't wait for the Pippy Long Stockings, Zombie, & Pink Puppy next year! 

P.S. (Isn't Amy SO STINKIN CREATIVE....Yep, she came up with all of these costumes...Pretty Fabulous!)

Being without Power
Someone didn't consult me before a landslide happened taking out power from Provo to Manti.
I was just getting ready to blow dry my hair, and so I decided to take my mothers advice and "get GLAD in the same shoes I was mad in" and take a little bit longer to read and study my scriptures.  Had some fabulous insight because of it.
(PS - I am okay to be without power, just not on a morning when I have 90 million things to do and I need to look cute doing them)

Trip to AZ
Wonderful trip to Arizona with a lot of really fun sights:
FABULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL Sunrise
Snow on the hills in Moab
Gas station in Holbrook (Sometimes it is a long ways from Ganado to Holbrook)
Spending time visiting with my sweet cousin Jen Ray

Mesa Temple
Talk about a crazy afternoon...left me feeling not so fabulous (could be from running on 2 hours of sleep, but.....
I got to spend some time with my sweet sister Heather & of course she tried to make the best of the situation.  We ended up spending some great time in the Mesa Temple.
It was great to be there with her.
It was great to be in the Mesa temple, I haven't been back to do a session there since I got my endowments there....a REALLY long time ago.
They have made the whole headphone translator thing a lot easier than it used to be.
(we went to the last session of the day, which happened to be the Spanish Session)

Sweet Reminders 
I have so many wonderful people in my life, and every day when I count my blessings I am amazed at all of the sweet reminders of the goodness of my life.  Sometimes it comes through random text messages, some times through crazy conversations after a knock on my door.  Sometimes it comes from a line in a song, a picture, a memory, a laugh, a smile, or even a tear.  Sometimes it comes from RANDOMLY running into an old friend (it was so fun to see you Tommy)

I used to laugh when people would say:
Inch by Inch its a cinch
Yard by Yard it's hard
( Confession: there have been times when I have spouted this off to try and cure the woes of the world)

by this week I have thought a lot about it.
There are days - Mostly just the ones that end in "y" that the over all circumstances of my life are not the ones that I would have chose (as if I had the choice right) but still...sometimes I get overwhelmed.

BUT...
When I try and take it "inch by inch" and find the goodness of life,
which usually helps when I focus on smaller blocks of time it becomes easier to deal with.

Clear as Mud?

Have a fabulous week!

Wordless Wednesday

Thanks Kaleb 

for helping me to see this more clearly 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 

to my sweet youngest sister

KRISTIN HANNAH

I know it has been a difficult year for you, 

BUT...

Thank you for the blessing that you are in my life.  

You make me want to be a better person!

Love You Long Time