Becca Boo's Corner

Do you have birthdays in Heaven?

2012-01-20T09:34:00.000-08:00

I have really been struggling this week knowing this week would bring a day that I used to celebrate, a day I used to enjoy calling my Dad to call him an "old fart". I struggled with the fact that since He isn't here He can't turn 66 because do they really have Birthday's heaven. But I have been humbled, comforted and blessed with many camouflage moments to help me. So today instead of mourning what I can't celebrate because Dad isn't here I am choosing to celebrate and remember that He was here, and that there is still a part of Him that still is. So Happy Birthday Dad. Thanks for what you taught me. For what you showed me. For what you gave me. For continuing to help me.

Here is a poem that my sister Heather wrote for my Dad's funeral. I thought it was appropriate today.

The Lord must haveneeded a carpenter,

A man to work with wood

To mold the mansionsand carve the mountains with all the detail he could.

God must have needed a mechanicto help to fix things to stay

A man that could helpthings continue on no matter what time of day.

Father must have neededa teacher to help men learn & grow

To become the peoplethey are supposed to be & to learn what they should know.

God must have needed asmall smile

A soul so sweet &kind

That he found a manwith a heart so big that no enemies would be left behind,

A man who knows andloves him and who can help others through.

God must have needed ahero and that’s why he took you.

by Heather Penrod

Looking forward to the day we are together again.

A gift from heaven

2012-01-17T22:29:00.001-08:00

My sister in law Amy is amazing! And I love her so much for bringing us this sweet little angel.

Gracelynn Faith Penrod

January 16, 201210:31 pm

5 pds 15 oz

18" long

Picutres with Aunt Heather, Aunt Kris, Big Sis Kaelee, Grandma & Daddy....

But just you wait....

Pictures with Aunt Bec soon to come!

(I get to see her on FRIDAY!!!)

She has been waiting a long time for this....

2012-01-17T22:13:00.001-08:00

Sister Sue finally has a little sister now! After 3 little brothers (who I adore) she finally has a sister to play dress up with!!! I know she is going to be an amazing big sister!

Fun with Maggie

2012-01-09T22:26:00.001-08:00

This little girl can sure help put a smile on my face! I wish the brownies we made actually turned out good but it was fun making them anyway!

Fabulous Friday - Round 2

2012-01-06T02:00:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had that experience when you realize at about 12:30 in the afternoon that you had a blog post that auto published at 2 am that morning and it wasn't even close to being done yet. In my attempt to document the stuff going on in my life I try to take a few minutes every night to jot down a few notes about the fabulous happenings of the day (Or else I forget) normally I go back on Thursday night and make it look cute and expand. I guess because it has been so long since I have done a "Fabulous Friday" post that I completely forgot about it. So to those 3 of you who read my blog, sorry if you saw this the way it was published this morning. Here you go. Fabulous Friday, Round 2.

Breaking up with the Man I was certain would be the "Love of my Life" - Not so fabulous, ~~but not as hard as it has been in the past~~ probably one of the biggest reasons that I forgot to fix the post. Don't really want to talk about it. I am kind of a mess about it.

Spending New Years Eve with some of my best buddies

The Smith Family

11am Church as opposed to 9 am Church -

I was actually on time!

Being able to Witness my favorite little Miss Mo be blessed by her Daddy.

(Sorry Lisa, I stole this picture)

In all seriousness Lisa & Hondo you guys are amazing to me and have been not only a lifeline of inspiration for me but also A great example. I can't wait to see all of the amazing things you guys will accomplish together. Hondo, the blessing was absolutely beautiful, and gave me a lot of sweet reminders. Thanks for letting me be there.

Giggling with Stacy

Sometimes things just strike me as really funny, and usually it is at the most inconvenient time.

During the opening song of sacrament meeting was one of those

Thanks Stacy for giggling with me.

A wonderful Relief Society Lesson by Amber K -

I think she must have been praying for me when she was preparing because she said so many things I needed to hear.

Remembering Good Days

Being Crafty

Amy & I are starting a little business (check us out on Facebook )

We made FABULOUS frames to display some of the cute flowers we will be selling.

(Shameless plug: If you are interested in having a jewelry party where you can get your jewelry for free let me know)

Lunch with Carolyn

This lady is FABULOUS! She is one of those people who have overcome a lot in her life and is now helping others do the same thing. I don't think I will ever forget her kindness. She helped me remember that it's okay to cry. It's okay to still be upset sometimes, and its even okay to be patient with yourself.

Dinner with Wes

Amazing! I swear He has ESPN or something. He always calls when things seem to be going the very worst. He is great at helping me laugh and listening to me complain about anything. Thanks again friend!

Quite Moments wrapped up in my Camouflage Blanket

One of my favorite gifts this year was a fleece Camouflage blanket that the Smith Family gave me. The blanket and the reason for the coloring are going to get a whole post dedicated entirely to them (later).

But...It did it's job this week! Thanks Amy & Todd!

And I am going to sign off before I start rambling and spilling my ugly emotions out all over the place. Have a great week. Hopefully next week I am more on top of things.

PS - I am starting school on Tuesday, a light load this semester. Only 21 credits.

Wish me luck!

See Good Days

2012-01-01T14:16:00.000-08:00

So I have another blog (several of them actually) but this one I started as action of several promptings I received. It is a blog that I created to focus on Hope. The name of it is "See Good Days" Now surprisingly enough I don't post there very often, but I am committing to be better. At least I am starting the new year off with a post. Check it out.

Ringing in the new year

2011-12-31T21:36:00.001-08:00

Celebrating the new year with the Smith Family! Hope your celebrations were as great as mine!

Goodbye 2011 ~

2011-12-31T16:33:00.000-08:00

Dear 2011 -

I don't know how to say this, so I am just going to come right out and say it.

I am breaking up with you.

That sounds so immature, like what I did with my junior high boyfriend. But it just has to happen.

2011, you took a lot from me. You took some good relationships, a job, but my greatest heartache was when you took my Dad. I don't know if I will ever forgive you for that.

But in all fairness, you did give me a lot. A lot of learning, a lot of growing, a lot of fun, and a lot of happiness. You allowed me to have some great relationships that changed my life. You allowed me to create some memories that I will never forget. You allowed me to exercise my faith like I never have before.

Some of the experiences we shared together:

I have always considered myself to be fair, so in that spirit I have to say Goodbye. I will try not to focus on all of our bad times, but please forgive me if for a little while I still have a hard time with you.

In a few hours I will meet a new friend, his name is 2012. I feel really good about our relationship. I am looking forward to all of the growing that will continue with 2012. I know it is going to be my best year yet, not perfect (because lets be honest nobody is) but it's going to be great. Why...Because if I have learned nothing else from this year I have learned this...Everything I have gone through or will go through is for a purpose. Nothing is by accident, and while some of those experiences are very painful they are helping to shape me into the person I am supposed to be. It's going to be great because I have finally realized that I am not in control and someone greater than me has all of the plans laid out perfectly, even when I don't see them.

So Goodbye 2011. I don't think I will miss you.

A good day

2011-12-29T09:49:00.001-08:00

Christmas Eve we went sledding with my Uncle Kim & his Family. It was a good day, a very good day. I love my cousin and her sweet little kids who we have adopted as our nieces and nephew. We only had two major wipe outs, one was my sweet niece Shaina (Sorry I wasn't there to see it) and the other was me and little Miss B (little girls with me in the top picture). She trusted me to get her down the big hill safely. I failed. But she has one smart Momma who picked her up, cleared the snow off her face and put her back on the sled and took her down the little hill to let her know it was okay. A good day.

First Christmas in Heaven

2011-12-23T09:50:00.000-08:00

I had a post all typed out, but sometimes it's too hard to share whats going on in my head and heart. I will sum it all up with this.

Dear Dad -

Today I miss you. A whole lot. I hope it's okay that today I am not okay with everything and sometimes its hard. Thanks for the camouflage moment this morning. Hope you are enjoying your first Christmas in Heaven. Save me a seat.

Love
Noel (what my dad used to call me when I was a little girl)

Thanks Beth Ann for letting me steal your picture.

With a baby

2011-12-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

"Shepherds would soon arrive and, later, wise men would follow from the East. But first and forever there was just a little family, without toys or trees or tinsel. With a baby - that's how Christmas began."

Jeffrey R. Holland

PS....I found this blog. It has helped me to remember some of those important things that I far too often overlook. Maybe it will help you. http://www.ashadowcanyonchristmas.blogspot.com/. It is a Christmas Advent Blog. Enjoy.

And those who've been in darkness for a while...

2011-12-08T14:22:00.001-08:00

Some days I don't get it. This week I have had several of those. I know, I know. I.KNOW. They won't last forever. They might not even last all day. But sometimes in those terribly hard moments I just don't think they will ever go away.

I had a couple of those moments last week too. The first came when I was told I was over qualified for a position that I would have loved. Another came as I cried like a baby all the way through one of my favorite Christmas traditions "The Forgotten Carols". I heard a little Amen in my heart when as part of the script Uncle John was talking about his beloved Sarah said something like "As much as I know that I will be with Sarah forever someday, I am often reminded that today is not that day" (At least that is what I heard...I have been wrong before). That's how I feel on those "Some days". Full of hope for forever, but heart broke that it isn't is today.

This week I had so much hope to start the week. It was going to be a great week! It was going to be a week where I accomplished something great. A week I could be proud of myself. A week where my Dad could be proud. Monday was pretty amazing! I even pretended to have the desire to decorate for Christmas...something I had to talk myself into for a bit. Sadly though, the rest of the week has been filled with more of those "Some day" moments.

Can I dodge the real responsibility that needs to be placed on me for those reasons and blame something else. Thanks! You may or may not know...I don't do medication. Not at all. Well at least not for the most part. There are some medications that I take (and looks like I will be on for the rest of my life) that I am okay with, they don't have to much of an effect on me. But if you ever want to laugh so hard tears run down your legs (saw it on pintrest...chuckled a little) slip me a Tylenol. I will provide you with hours of entertainment. Back to the reason...On Tuesday morning I decided to start taking a new medication that my Dr. prescribed back in November but because I was scared how I would react I hadn't started taking yet. Let's just say it's a good thing I waited. Some of the side affects included: Hives (my neck broke out like crazy), extreme nausea, and sleep....Like 15 hours of it. Straight. Not a light, "I should wake up but I would rather not" sleep, but a cold, dead to the world, you're not waking me up if you try sleep. With that sleep came some TERRIBLE TERRIBLE TERRIBLE nightmares. Yes there were spiders dreams, but I had a couple that were even worse than that (Let's just say when I did wake up I had to check my phone to make sure I didn't make or receive the calls I dreamed about).

After cutting the dose in half, and then in half again, and then in half again (it was a pediatric dose to begin with). I am still struggling with the side affects. Struggling is kind of an understatement. I down right hate the stuff. I am hoping it starts doing what it is supposed to REALLY REALLY SOON.

Anyway...I am blaming this for the majority of my "some day" moments this week. But....Like usual, or rather always, this afternoon I stand corrected...well maybe not corrected, but humbled. Humbled that I do know that Forever will come some day, Humbled that I know that the darkness won't last forever, Humbled that sometimes I just need/have to hold on. Humbled that I have a loving Father in Heaven who loves me enough to allow me to struggle so that I can grow.

So today...I will wait for the light and enjoy it when it comes. I know it will, even if it is for just a moment.

Another Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-30T12:46:00.001-08:00

...An understanding of God’s great plan of happiness, however, fortifies our faith in the future. His plan provides answers to ageless questions: Are all our sympathies and love for each other only temporary—to be lost in death? No! Can family life endure beyond this period of mortal probation? Yes! God has revealed the eternal nature of celestial marriage and the family as the source of our greatest joy.

Brethren and sisters, material possessions and honors of the world do not endure. But your union as wife, husband, and family can. The only duration of family life that satisfies the loftiest longings of the human soul is forever. No sacrifice is too great to have the blessings of an eternal marriage. To qualify, one needs only to deny oneself of ungodliness and honor the ordinances of the temple. By making and keeping sacred temple covenants, we evidence our love for God, for our companion, and our real regard for our posterity—even those yet unborn. Our family is the focus of our greatest work and joy in this life; so will it be throughout all eternity, when we can “inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, … powers, dominions, … exaltation and glory.”

Russel M. Nelson, Oct 2001

Starting our first Christmas season without Dad. We took a Charlie Brown Christmas tree to his grave. He always liked those kind of trees. Too bad it wasn't a blue spruce. Those were his favorite. Miss you Dad!

For Every Situation...

2011-11-14T22:01:00.001-08:00

Tonight I did something that was hard. Something I didn't realize I hadn't done. Something that brought tears. Tonight I sang. Odd you might think, but let me explain. (go ahead and put your feet up, you know how long it takes me to get to the point sometimes.)

I grew up with music in my home. Thankfully I was raised with a love for music, and from the time I was very young I was singing. As a family we sing on car rides, while cleaning, while doing homework, riding on a float in a parade, doing our chores, camping, you name it we sing at it. We even had a very special experience of singing "Dad's Songs" - songs that he taught us, in the back of the "old chev" during his last ride (on our way to the cemetery)

Dad's Last Ride - we ALWAYS sign "I Love You" to each other, never more fitting than that day.

Singing: It is something we do in our family.

Kind of a crazy fact about me, I always have a song in my head (Not always or even usually a hymn) and I spend so much of my time relating my life to the songs in my vast library of music. I loved this when I saw it:

because I totally feel this 99.2% of the time.

(back to tonight)

So because I grew up singing and because I always have music in my head, and because I feel like every situation in life can be related to a song, VERY OFTEN that is how I get my feelings out. Now don't get me wrong, my poor piano has taken the beatings of my foul moods a lot in the last little bit, and I have sung at church and in the car, but in the last 10 weeks and 5 days I haven't had any of those quiet moments where I set down in front of my piano and just sing my heart out.

I guess I lost my voice.

I know I lost my desire.

I think I am still a little lost on my way.

But tonight I needed to. I needed to sing. I needed to be able to hear and speak those thoughts and feelings of my heart.

So I tried.

It was ugly.

It was a mess.

It was frustrating.

As I had decided that there was a reason I wasn't singing anymore I pulled out one of my favorite books, by my favorite Alto, (by the way I have a terrible range, when I used to sing a lot it was decent, but now it is pathetic so I am always glad when there are female artists who are alto's who publish music), actually by one of my favorite artists period, Hilary Weeks. I was going to give it one more try, and if it sounded like a pack of wild dogs outside I was going to put away my books and vow to never sing again (Okay maybe not that dramatic). Actually deep down I was going to be extremely disappointed and down in the dumps because I really needed to let go of some thoughts in my head.

I guess you could say the Heavens parted (not literally) because what happened next was a small blessing, a tender mercy moment for me. I am not saying that I sang the best I have ever sung, because I probably didn't, but the spirit of the song allowed me to give my feelings a voice. I got lost in the message that I was singing, and had several small "amens" to the words coming out of my mouth. I didn't care that I was in tears and had mascara dripping down my face, I didn't even care that I wasn't hitting every note perfectly. It was just a moment where I could be reassured that I am not alone. Here is the song:

And in the moments when no earthly words can take away your sorrow,

And no human eyes can see what you're going through

When you've taken your last step and done all that you can do

He will lift your heavy load and carry you.

After I was done singing that song I closed the book. That was enough. I just sat there for a minute hoping that the windows in heaven were open so that my Dad could hear me sing. I think it would have made him smile.

Inch by Inch

2011-11-04T02:00:00.000-07:00

Fabulous Happenings

Half Marathon

I would love to say I ran the whole thing, because I could have in the past.

But I didn't.

(I haven't been running much at all since I lost my Dad)

But my feet did carry me 13.1 miles.

I got to dress up with one of my besties, Myndi

I got to be scared and have great nightmares thanks to Lee.

And I got to spend a lot of time talking about ~~something~~ someone who is giving me lots of reasons to smile these days.

Becca & Myndi,
Ready to go at 5 am - We had been awake since 3:30 am!

Me trying to remember that running is fun!

Not what you want to see in your backseat at 5 am!

Yep, you better believe I had nightmares from this one!

Some of my favorite people! On the bus, headed up to the start of the run

Myndi & I, Finished...Finally!

If you have seen me "hobbling" this week, I think it was well deserved. That is what happens when you run down hill right?

Thanks Lee & Myndi for letting me do this with you!

Not being able to walk

It reminds me that I never want to get old, and that I am a big baby! I cried when I had to walk up the 4 steps to get into my house on Sunday after the run.

Halloween

confession...this is probably my least favorite holiday of them all, and I think I am justified in having that opinion. I don't have a good history of halloweens past. But, with that being said.... this year was actually pretty fun. I got to spend the morning getting my friend Amy and her kids ready to go.

Amy was Cruella De Ville, Averi was the Corpse Bride, Briggs was Frankenstien &

Maggie was Glenda, The Good Witch.

Maggie & spent most of the day together, I got to see some of my Pinnacle Friends, and then we got ready for our wards "Trunk or Treat" that night. I was DONE by the time 3pm came around so I was a party pooper and didn't dress up.

(I figure I had already dressed up twice for the month, I didn't need to do it again)

At the ward Trunk or Treat...Recognize the clown??? You should! (see above Pictures)
I might have kicked the 4 year old out of her stroller because I COULD NOT WALK ANYMORE.
Go ahead sing it "Fat girl in a little stroller" you know you want to :)

Getting ~~Briggs~~ Franky ready to go

Frankenstein

Corpse Bride

Glenda, The Good Witch

Thanks guys for letting me spend the day with you, and for letting me help you get ready to go! Can't wait for the Pippy Long Stockings, Zombie, & Pink Puppy next year!

P.S. (Isn't Amy SO STINKIN CREATIVE....Yep, she came up with all of these costumes...Pretty Fabulous!)

Being without Power
Someone didn't consult me before a landslide happened taking out power from Provo to Manti.
I was just getting ready to blow dry my hair, and so I decided to take my mothers advice and "get GLAD in the same shoes I was mad in" and take a little bit longer to read and study my scriptures. Had some fabulous insight because of it.
(PS - I am okay to be without power, just not on a morning when I have 90 million things to do and I need to look cute doing them)

Trip to AZ
Wonderful trip to Arizona with a lot of really fun sights:
FABULOUSLY BEAUTIFUL Sunrise
Snow on the hills in Moab
Gas station in Holbrook (Sometimes it is a long ways from Ganado to Holbrook)
Spending time visiting with my sweet cousin Jen Ray

Mesa Temple
Talk about a crazy afternoon...left me feeling not so fabulous (could be from running on 2 hours of sleep, but.....
I got to spend some time with my sweet sister Heather & of course she tried to make the best of the situation. We ended up spending some great time in the Mesa Temple.
It was great to be there with her.
It was great to be in the Mesa temple, I haven't been back to do a session there since I got my endowments there....a REALLY long time ago.
They have made the whole headphone translator thing a lot easier than it used to be.
(we went to the last session of the day, which happened to be the Spanish Session)

Sweet Reminders
I have so many wonderful people in my life, and every day when I count my blessings I am amazed at all of the sweet reminders of the goodness of my life. Sometimes it comes through random text messages, some times through crazy conversations after a knock on my door. Sometimes it comes from a line in a song, a picture, a memory, a laugh, a smile, or even a tear. Sometimes it comes from RANDOMLY running into an old friend (it was so fun to see you Tommy)

I used to laugh when people would say:
Inch by Inch its a cinch
Yard by Yard it's hard
( Confession: there have been times when I have spouted this off to try and cure the woes of the world)

by this week I have thought a lot about it.
There are days - Mostly just the ones that end in "y" that the over all circumstances of my life are not the ones that I would have chose (as if I had the choice right) but still...sometimes I get overwhelmed.

BUT...
When I try and take it "inch by inch" and find the goodness of life,
which usually helps when I focus on smaller blocks of time it becomes easier to deal with.

Clear as Mud?

Have a fabulous week!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-02T11:45:00.000-07:00

Thanks Kaleb

for helping me to see this more clearly

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to my sweet youngest sister

KRISTIN HANNAH

I know it has been a difficult year for you,

BUT...

Thank you for the blessing that you are in my life.

You make me want to be a better person!

Love You Long Time

Monday Memories

2011-10-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

A memory shared by Stef. I loved this!

One Sunday we were driving from home and there was an elderly couple had a flat at the turn off into Shone's dam. We drove by and then suddenly without saying anything Dad turned around and pulled up next to their car. As we watched and chatted with the couple Dad changed the tire in his white shirt and dress pants...he could have gone home and dropped us off and changed his clothes and then come back but instead he stopped to help immediately

...you know Dad he could never turn down someone in need.

Christmas 2009
Troy, Toni, Kris, Justin, Heather, Stef
Grandma, Mom, Dad
Shell, Bec

Because We Have Today...(Nothing Wordless About it)

2011-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

Can I tell you a secret...Okay it's not really a secret, especially if you know me. I LOVE MUSIC. Tonight I had a particularly amazing musical experience, one that I plan on talking about for a long while, but I it brought some thoughts that I just feel like need to be shared. With that said...YOU NEED TO GO BUY HILARY WEEKS NEW CD!!! Buy it now, it will make more sense when I talk about it later. And if you buy it before October 29th you save some $$. Who doesn't love that! Back to the post:

8 weeks ago my life changed.

It changed completely.

It changed Forever.

It has been the most difficult change I have ever faced.

I was in the second week of my fall semester, sitting in the middle of an institute class, talking about how the gospel of Jesus Christ gives us the strength to endure to the end, when my phone buzzed letting me know I had a new text message. Of course I ignored it and thought it was no big deal, the class was almost over.

As I stood up to leave the Institute building and head back up the hill to my next class I started reading the message. Honestly I didn't get it. I couldn't comprehend it.

Accident

Dad

Helicopter

CPR

I immediately called my sister Heather who had sent the text, both she and I were in tears and then came the uncontrollable screams. My Dad was gone.

Over the last 8 weeks there have been many miracles and tender mercies in our family, but there have also been some extremely hard challenges that we have been faced with.

One of the hardest of those challenges for me was realizing that I didn't get to tell my Dad goodbye. I took for granted the fact that He would always be there, anytime I needed Him. Almost daily I realize yet another area where I counted on my Dad, where I needed his opinion, where I depended on His inspiration. Again, almost daily I have the thought to call Dad, but making that call isn't possible now. Every day I still miss Him, I still cry, and it's still hard. I know that my life is never going to be the same.

When I was on my way to Arizona the night I lost my Dad I remember sending a text message to my friend Drew, asking him how I was supposed to get through this. His response is something that I have to remind myself on an almost daily basis "Take deep breaths, be thankful for the family that you do have, and spend time serving them" Honestly, one of the best tidbits of advice I have received, something that it brought to mind A LOT. Of course, I am a pro at the deep breaths at this point, but still struggling with the gratitude and serving, but something I am working at. (Thanks again Drew)

Back to Tonight... I went to the release concert for Hilary Weeks new cd "Every Step". (THANK YOU KALEB) In the middle of all of her FABULOUS new stuff she pulled out this "oldy but goody" as she called it. "If I Only Had Today", (you can listen to it by clicking on the music player on my sidebar on the left - it's the first song). Of course my first thought was that sad rememberence that I didn't get to say goodbye to Dad, but as Hilary continued to sing my heart was softened a bit. Instead of thinking "wo is me" I was filled with a sweet comfort and the thoughts Drew shared with me came back into my head...."spend time serving them".

Because of the experiences of the last 8 weeks my today's mean so much more. I am trying not to take the people who I hold dear for granted. I would like to think I am more patient, more forgiving, more loving. More eager to serve those around me, and slower in making rash judgments. I am trying to be more grateful for the small blessings in my life-the hugs, the smiles, the simple hello's. Because of the last 8 weeks I am trying to be more prayerful and spend more "knee time" asking how I can be an instrument in the Lord's hands and then following the promptings given. Because I have today, I am trying to be more like my Dad, more tenderhearted, more Christlike. Because I have today, I am trying to live the kind of life he would want me to live.

So can you do me a favor?

Because you have today...

take that few minutes and tell your Dad you love him, do something kind for your Mom, spend some time with your kids, call that sister, text that nephew. Let someone know how much you appreciate them in your life. Do those things that you have on your "someday list"

Remember that today is our gift and we never know when we won't have them anymore.

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

Forest E. Witcraft

I think that can be said if we are important in the life of anyone.

If I Only Had Today

Hilary Weeks

It seems like I've watched a million sunsets

and stared at a thousand full moons

Sometimes it feels like I've been here forever

and sometimes it all feels brand new.

I could never count the heartbeats

from the day I was born until now

But not a single one goes unnoticed

by Him who breaths life in me somehow.

But If there were no more tomorrows

I knew that I could not stay

I know how I'd spend every minute,

If I only Had today.

I'd hold you and listen

I'd let the dishes set in the sink.

I'd tell you I love you over and over

and for once I'd just let the phone ring.

Then I'd remind you of forever

and how our love would never change

If I only had today.

I'd wake up before the sun did

and I'd watch as you quietly sleep

I'd pray for time to move slowly

knowing the moment won't keep

All the gifts that heaven has given

every blessing that's come my way

Wouldn't mean anything without you

So if I only had today...

I'd hold you and listen

I'd memorize every detail of your face

I'd tell you I loved you over and over

I wouldn't let excuses get in the way.

Then I'd remind you of forever

and how our love would never change

If I only had today.

There's no time like the present

Life doesn't come with any guaranties

The sun will set, time won't wait

so while I have today...

I'll hold you and listen

I'll let the dishes set in the sink.

I'll tell you I love you over and over

For once I'd just let the phone ring.

I'll remind you of forever

and how our love will never change

Because I have today.

How thankful I am for all of the WONDERFUL Memories of yesterday's that help me get through the Today's without my Dad.

I Love You Dad.

Monday Memory - Shared by Heather

2011-10-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today's Memory is one from my sister, Heather - the only one who has contributed to my "Monday Memory" of my Dad, Kenneth Penrod so far. I hate to sound desperate, but please, anyone who reads this...If you have a memory of my Dad, please, Please, PLEASE....Please share it with us. I really would like to be able to have these written down so that we (his family, HE STILL HAS MANY TO COME) can enjoy them. You can e-mail them to me at becca.boo82@yahoo.com or leave a comment here.

One time we were driving down the highway by the junior high and this dog runs out into the road and dad hits him. The dog was hurt pretty badly so dad thought he better just shoot him. I am crying and begging him not to do it and dad is saying he is just going to suffer, and at some point dad is crying about it to. We ended up loading the dog up and finding someone in Snowflake who offered to take care of the dog and got it back to its owner after it recovered, I don't remember if it was a vet or just someone dad knew but it was important to me that the dog be ok so it was important to dad to.

This is a picture of Specks - My Parents current Dog.

I think my Dad named him Specks because he looked like he had glasses on

because of the rings around his eyes

This is my Dad & Missy (my Dog)

When I moved to Utah I couldn't bring her with me so my parents took her.

I think my Dad really enjoyed having her around. He spoiled her ALOT.

I think I might have had to fight with him to get her back.

My Dad always had a huge heart when it came to Animals. He didn't like to hunt because he hated to kill the animals.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it (or something like that)

2011-10-21T02:00:00.000-07:00

Fabulous Happenings of the Week:

My Mom

came to see me, and she brought Kristin. Yay for people coming, especially Mom! Sometimes I pretend to be a strong and confident person who doesn't need to cry to Mom anymore, but it's not true. I wish I lived closer on most days, and I miss them so much when they leave.

Cars 2

I went to see this with Mom and Kris on Friday night.

I LOVED the first Cars, and really enjoyed the 2nd one as well

It made me feel closer to Dad for the night, He too loved Cars, and was a huge fan of Mater.

Spending an afternoon with Friends and people I love

On Saturday I got to spend a few hours being crafty and domestic with some of the best people I know.

We had a Poppy Seed Project craft day, and made some pretty amazing pictures. Thanks everyone for coming and spending the afternoon with me.

Witches Night Out

TALK ABOUT FUN. Because the Temple class took so long Kris and I didn't have time to do our makeup, but my cousins K,J, & C went all out and looked FABULOUS!!!! It was really fun spending time with them. My favorite part of the night was desert (of course) at Olive Garden. We all got a good laugh out of watching the girls try and eat with their noses on.

I have been struggling with posing lately..

The Whole Group

A Sunday Afternoon Drive - Fall Version

After fixing us a Scrumptious Dinner Mathew and Heidi took us for a BEAUTIFULLY FABULOUS afternoon drive. It was SO PRETTY!

Spending some quiet time with Kris

Kristin found out on Monday morning that someone that she was very close to passed away. This woman was a young mother of Kris's adopted nieces and nephews and one of her baptisms. My Heart goes out to this family. It is hard to feel so helpless knowing that there isn't a thing you can do other than pray for them. It brought me closer to those wonderful people who have been praying for me and my family. Since Kris obviously couldn't go to Chile to comfort the family we decided to make a little video to send them. THANK HEAVENS for facebook!

Luckily the programs all worked out well, and we were able to make this quickly.

NOT SO FAB: Mom and Kris Leaving (I hate that part)

Back to Fabulous:

Jamba Juice with Stacy

It was really good to see Stacy, always FABULOUS. She treated me to a lovely Jamba Juice, and I even splurged and got the Smoothy with icecream or sherbert or whatever they make it with. Normally I try and stick with the healthy all fruit one. It was a nice change. We Giggled ALOT (It might have been because of our background music, straight up Disney), and she just let me whine about my life, which was not my plan that day. She is one of those AMAZINGLY FABULOUS people who have faith in me right now, when I struggle with having faith in myself. This reminded me of her.

Dinner with a friend

Fabulous Mexican Food

Fabulous Dinner Conversation

Fabulous Company

Fabulous Honesty
Fabulous Start of Something FABULOUS

Institute

It made my heart happy that someone else asked a question that I was to chicken to ask. We were talking about Elder Ballards talk "Finding Joy through Loving Service" and the question was asked:

How can we free ourselves from this tangled web of challenges and uncertainties to find peace of mind and happiness?

Well, of course we decided that it was to serve others. At this point my brave friend (whose name I don't know) raised his hand and asked "and what about when you serve all you can, and you still feel unhappy and uncertain about the world". Yep, he might have just stole the words right out of my mouth.

His question led to some great discussion which has lead to some really great study time for me. I am still working on coming up with an answer, but in the meantime I loved this quote from the talk:

“… Unless we lose ourselves in service to others, there is little purpose to our own lives” ( Pres. Monson, “What Have I Done for Someone Today?” Liahona andEnsign, Nov. 2009, 85).

Spending time in the GILES home

Stacey and James are FABULOUS. It was so great to spend some time with them. (Sorry it was so late guys). I felt like I could be 110% honest, and I knew that they didn't care. I really appreciate their comforting and encouraging influence in my life.

As a highlight, I was apparently at the right place at the right time, thanks Brother Shelley for the FABULOUS bread. It was so yummy!

Temple with Amy

Have I ever expressed that I have FABULOUS friends. There you have it, I just did. By the way, my friends are some of the most kind and unselfish people in the world. Amy was kind enough to take time out of her crazy life and go the temple with me.

It was really hard, but where I needed to be.

Bunco
Did I mention I have amazing friends. No but really I do!
We started a monthly Bunco group and it has been so much fun.
This month was no exception at all. Thank you Jana and Lorri for hosting A FABULOUS evening.
It was just what I needed. In the spirit of Halloween we all dressed up.

Marshmallow Sunday's
Stacey Giles is FABULOUS. Even though she may not think so she is a SAINT. I am so grateful that she is willing to listen to me whine and complain about my life. We had a fabulous visit this week while eating Dairy Queen. She helped me feel confident about dealing with some contention in my life. Bless Her!

Flannel Sheets & Electric Blankets
I LOVE my flannel sheets and electric blanket. It makes going to bed at night a lot nicer when you get into a nice warm bed, and can stay that way all night!

Hope your week was as FABULOUS as mine.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-19T15:45:00.000-07:00

The earth in its pristine beauty is an expression of the nature of its Creator.

Gordon B. Hinckley

My Dad would always take us to look at the leaves. He would tell us stories of growing up working in the woods. I think the reason I love nature so much is because He took the time to teach us to enjoy it and to find the beauty in it.

Dad, I miss you A LOT today.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.”

2011-10-14T02:00:00.000-07:00

Title quote by: Marriane Williamson

This week was fabulous because:

(in the order they happened)

spent some time being domestic

Thanks Amy & Myndi for your help

Sonia - I hope you enjoy them, You are beautiful inside and out. Praying that you will have strength and you will kick this cancer in the rear!

Went for an afternoon drive up Provo Canyon

Got to see 2 of my loves:

1 - Nature in the FALL

2 - Waterfalls

Spent some time reading, studying, praying & crying in

my new favorite spot

I like it because it is quiet.

I like it because it reminds me to have hope.

I like it because I can see the temple (Well at least Moroni).

a reminder to find joy and hope in all things

the green grass of summer, the orange leaves of fall, and the snow of winter

I taught my first Sunday School lesson

I have a great class, full of very FABULOUS teenagers from 12-15

We talked about President David O. McKay and his role as an ambassador for Christ

My Favorite quote from the lesson:

Thanks TODD for helping me with this. I really appreciate your insight

(even if you did make me cry)

Clean House & Laundry DONE!!

What is not fabulous about that!

A week of soup

Over and out

(Good news, I did lose 9 pounds last week)

Running with Stacey

LOVE IT

I learned how to use the MAPS on my new phone

and didn't get lost going to Spanish Fork

(this might have happened the week before)

(Thanks Jeremy for teaching me how to use the phone (and talking me into getting it in the first place))

The Moon

I LOVE IT WHEN IT IS A FULL MOON!!!

Especially when I am running.

YES, I do sing "Somewhere out there" whenever I see a full moon.

A better understanding of "DESIRE"

Thanks Elder Oaks & Bro. Anderson

End of the Summer at Work

Everyone is a little less stressed because our busy season is over, but there are also a lot of people who come back to the office. This week I got to see a lot of my favorite sales team. It makes my job great when people really care about how you are doing.

Letting Go

Realizing that as much as I want to I can not make every choice for every person, and that includes making people like me or want to spend time with me. This is something that is SO HARD for me because I just want everyone (most importantly myself) to just be happy. This week I "let go" of a couple of relationships realizing that some things are just not meant to be, and it's okay. It doesn't make me or them bad people, it makes us human.

Cleaning out my e-mails and my desk

Isn't it nice to just declutter...

(of course it would have been nicer if it hadn't been because I am loosing my job)

Meeting new friends and spending time with Old one's

I have so many great people I call friends. This week I had the opportunity to meet a couple of new ones (Thank You K for a fun night!)

Late Night Texts

that are answers to prayers

It really really makes a girl feel GREAT when after saying a heartfelt prayer that just one thing will be okay in life she receives a text or an e-mail from someone, nothing to part the clouds and take away all of the bad, but just something to say "I'm thinking about you. or How are you"

(Thanks Wes and Myndi for your FABULOUS TIMING, They always come right when I need them)

Spending Time in the Smith Home

You know those houses where you always feel welcome, even if it is midnight, you need a shower, your makeup is smeared all over your face, and you are in your PJ's. That is the Smith house for me. Thanks for always letting me come down, even when it's not easy and all I want to do is cry. Thanks for helping me cry, and letting me feel the sweet spirit of your little family.

Priesthood Blessings

Spoke words that I needed to hear, gave me strength to look for the future, helped me find direction in this trying time. Gave me peace and conformation. Even an Amen. A tender mercy for sure.

A Phone Call From One of My Favorite People EVER

Can you please tell me what 15 year old teenager calls their Aunts, just because they "feel like you need to talk" like she called me because she felt like I needed to talk!?! Do you know how LUCKY I am. Sorry, but I have some of the very most amazing nieces and nephews in the entire world. Kaelee is one of the most special people in my life, and I love her so much. She is growing up to be a pretty amazing young lady (not to mention she is GORGEOUS). Thank you so much Sister Sue for thinking of me tonight. You may have made my whole week. Nothing like making Aunt Bec feel important and loved.

Dinner/Breakfast with Wes

My Friend Wes is AMAZING! As previously mentioned he always seems to know exactly when I need a special reminder of the good in life, and this week He has been that reminder TWICE! He took me to Dinner/Breakfast and just let me talk. He is kind enough to recognize that I may be keeping my game face up right now, and is still patient and kind enough to see that deep down I don't get it, and life is hard, but deeper down inside there is somebody inside me worth caring about. And He has a REALLY REALLY GREAT LAUGH - that I wish I could hear more often. Thanks Again Wes!

People (Particularly Bosses) Who are Good People

This week I found out my current position at Pinnacle is being eliminated, meaning at some point today (Friday) I will walk into a conference room and set down with my boss and the HR manager to conduct an exit interview, and then shortly after walk out the door and be unemployed. While I have been looking for the lightening cloud to strike me at any point, or the bus to come plow me over, or the train to be de-railed on my car because honestly...what else can happen; there have been two VERY GOOD MEN who have struggled with a decision that needed to be carried through. Rich Goates and John Barlow might forever be in my book as HERO's because I know that they truly care about me, and what a blessing they have been in my life. I feel like tomorrow I can walk away knowing that they did all they could do to give me opportunities to grow and improve. I have greatly appreciated all of their concern,support and patience through the last five years. What a blessing they have been in my life. Two people who have changed my life "for good".

speaking of

FOR GOOD

music has always been close to my heart, and it seems that this song has particular meaning this week as I have and continue to say goodbye and close a few different chapters in my life. To those in the Pinnacle Chapter I thank you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you and all the memories you have givin me. Know that in some way, you have changed my life "for good".

For Good from Wicked

(from Kristin Chenoweth's final performance)

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

I am pretty blessed aren't I.

Have a fabulous week.

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

Let's be honest, I haven't done a Wednesday Post that is wordless yet.

Thanks Ashley for sharing this...it made my heart smile.

Memory Monday

2011-10-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

My Parents taught me to work. Every morning before school we would wake up early and do our housework or "Chores" so that when we came home from school we could run the hills, or do whatever else we thought we needed to.

My Dad always found us jobs to do as a family. One summer we cut trees to make "Latias" I am sure that is not how you spell it. Basically they were the logs used for staircase railings.

I don't remember exactly why, I think it might have been because of fire restrictions that summer but we had to get up and be in the woods just as soon as it got light, which was EXTREMELY early during the summer. I am sure that it wasn't fun for my Mom and Dad to drag our lazy bums out of bed every morning so we could go cut logs, but they kept doing it. I think most of the kids slept on the way out to the woods, but we always sang (or slept again) on the way home. I also remember Dad would always bring us Oatmeal Cream Pies, and I always looked forward to the break from the saws when we could enjoy them. We each had a particular job to do while we were out there. My job was to measure and mark the trees. My Dad or brother would go through and cut the trees down, and then me and my little sister would measure a certain length on the tree and then mark it with a funny crayon so that Dad could come back and cut the tree to the right length shortly after. The little kids (I was kind of one of those) would have a few minutes to play before Dad had enough trees cut and we were out of the way just enough so we didn't have to worry about a tree falling on us, and then we were hard at work. We had some great forts that we created out in those forests. After we had whatever we were going to for the day we would all go to work loading the logs up into the trailer. I always hated this because that is when I would get dirty and covered in pine gum, but it had to be done.

We would bring the logs home where Dad and a few of my uncles had set up an operation to peel the logs. All of the bark had to come off. So my older siblings, Dad & Mom would go to work. I used the excuse that I was to little to hold up the peeler a heavy piece of steel that my Uncle Randle had made for us to make the job easier, and I was to short to really see the top of the log when it was on the stands used to hold it up for the peeling. This usually meant that us little brats (Sorry girls) had to make sure we cleaned the house. At the time it seemed torturous, but now it is a precious memory. Now I really love that summer. I wish we could do it again. ( I would probably eat the words of that last sentence if I was doing it again wouldn't I)

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that parents taught me and my siblings the value of hard work and determination. The great thing was that they didn't do it by what they said necessarily, but just how they lived. I hope that I can be known hard workers like they are, and that I can someday teach that to my children.

This week I was looking for things to put on my Dad's headstone, and I found this. It made me smile.

What is a Father

(Paul Harvey)

A father is a thing that is forced to endure childbirth,without an anesthetic.

A father is a thing that growls when it feels good–andlaughs loud when it’s scared half to death.

A father never feels entirely worthy of worship in hischild’s eyes. He never is quite the hero his daughter thinks, never quite theman his son believes him to be. This worries him, sometimes, so he works toohard to try and smooth the rough places in the road for those of his own whowill follow him.

A father is a thing that gets very angry when school gradesaren’t as good as he thinks they should be. He scolds his son although he knowsit’s the teacher’s fault.

Fathers grow old faster than other people.

And while mothers can cry where it shows, fathers standthere and beam outside–and die inside. Fathers have very stout hearts, so theyhave to be broken sometimes or no one would know what is inside. Fathers givedaughters away to other men who aren’t nearly good enough so they can havegrandchildren who are smarter than anybody’s. Fathers fight dragons almostdaily. They hurry away from the breakfast table, off to the arena which issometimes called an office or a workshop…where they tackle the dragon withthree heads: Weariness, Work and Monotony.

Knights in shining armor.

Fathers make bets with insurance companies about who willlive the longest. Though they know the odds, they keep right on betting. Evenas the odds get higher and higher, they keep right on betting more and more.

And one day they lose.

But fathers enjoy an earthly immortality and the bet is paidoff to the part of him he leaves behind.

I don’t know where fathers go when they die. But I have anidea that after a good rest, he won’t be happy unless there is work to do. Hewon’t just sit on a cloud and wait for the girl he’s loved and the children shebore. He’ll be busy there, too…oiling the gates, smoothing the way.

(Paul Harvey)

“I did not know I had so many tears. I’ve tried to hide most of them. Not that I’m ashamed of tears, but seeing them in my eyes brings them too often to the cheeks of others and I wouldn’t spread sorrow too widely."

2011-10-09T17:56:00.000-07:00

Title Quote by S. Michael Wilcox

One of my favorite music artists of all time is Hilary Weeks. I have learned to love the honesty in her music. In the last few weeks (hard to believe it will be 6 this week) I have been following her blog closely waiting for the release of her next cd. Every once in a while she put snippets and parts of the songs that will be on that CD. I have LOVED reading the stories of how the songs came to be.

Today I was particularly touched by the song she shared. It's been a hard day. Many Many Tears. I didn't listen to the prompting to bear my testimony in sacrament meeting because I was scared. I don't like crying in front of other people. I don't do it very pretty, and usually I can't communicate when I do. Sometimes I think I look like this when I do. It's not that I know that people wouldn't love me if I just stood up there and cried, but let's be honest..I let my natural man take over and talk be out of it. I guess I forgot that the spirit would be there to comfort and help me share my testimony.

The lesson today in Relief Society was on the Postmortal Spirit World. I am sure on any other given day, I might have found comfort in that, but not today. Today I selfishly just missed my Dad. I am sure I was a great distraction as I sat in the class and sobbed for a bit. I thought about walking out, but I didn't want to offend the sweet sister who was teaching, the same sweet sister who has lost her husband and son at the same time. So I sat there. Dealing with this particular Gethsemane. Crying my eyes out. Knowing that My Dad is happy, but wishing that I could run home from Church and call him on the phone. After the lesson a sweet sister who has always been such a comfort to me IMMEDIATELY came and found me, and just let me cry some more. What a blessing she is to me. She often reminds me that there are many people waiting there to cry with me, that I don't have to do it alone. I plan on reading the lesson again shortly, but today, I just can't do it.

After Church I went for a drive up Provo Canyon. The World is beautiful out there, the colors are amazing, the air is wonderful. My Dad would have loved it...More tears, but also a small amount of peace came with this drive.

So back to the song. You just need to go to Hilary's blog and read about it. It was a story that I need today. I know that it's okay that I cry today, that these tears and this sorrow will eventually be bearable, that this isn't there home, but today...Today it's okay.

" Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome."

2011-10-07T02:03:00.000-07:00

FABULOUS FRIDAY
the reasons

Institute -

I love how it seems like the messages are directed right for me

It was also a small answer to prayers that one of my institute teachers from a few years ago remembered me, and because he did he was able to give me some comforting words.

Walking in the rain

A good friend and I have started walking on a regular basis, but one night it was raining. Those walks are always my favorite! It seems like a release for me to be able to walk in the rain. It always reminds me of this song.

If you ask HIM if He's ever over looked you or ceased to love you so,
HE'LL SAY NO.
Poor Stacey - Thanks for listening to me rant and rave!

Visits from an old friend - Harsh Brutal Honesty

Do you have those people in your life that can say exactly what you need to hear, and when they are saying it they are not being very nice but being completely honest, and you listen without getting mad. Yep, I had a visit with one of those friends this week. It was actually really great. He reminded me that I am an amazing person worth loving right now, just like I am and that I need to let people see that instead of changing to be what I think they want me to be... no problem right.

Patient Co-workers and Boss

I work for/with some pretty amazing people. I have been extremely blessed by their patience as I have been trying to deal with the by-polar me. I am sure it is not easy to see me with a smile one minute and then mad at the whole world the next. The girl I share an office with just happens to be one of the most CHRISTLIKE people I know. She really inspires me to want to be a better person.

A Cooking Undisaster

I wouldn't necessarily call it a cooking success, but I made some soup and it is edible...to me at least, if you don't like pepper it might not be. This is a huge accomplishment for me because I feel like I don't do well with cooking. I even went out of my comfort zone and added tomatoes to my soup, which I was thinking I was crazy the whole time I was doing it because I HATE TOMATOES!!!

Tender Mercies and Priesthood Blessings

In order to not trifle with sacred things lets just say someone REALLY GREAT received a really great blessing that she was instructed to share with us. It came at that moment when I needed it. It brought peace, it brought comfort, it brought tears, it brought hope.

HEIDI

My cousin Mat married an ANGEL, no two ways to put it. Heidi is an amazing person! She is such a sweet heart always thinking of other people. I think she must know how much MUSIC speaks to me, sometimes that is the only way I can get the message. She has been sending me wonderful little songs to cheer me up. This is the one she sent me today: (I am still working on it Heidi...the not giving up part) Thanks for the reminder that My Dad is still here with me.

A Good Haircut
Bless Myndi's heart! My hair (mostly my bangs) were beginning to look like a bad mess trying to take over my head. It is amazing how much better life is when you don't have a bad hair day everyday. Myndi is always kind enough to help me with my hair (and makeup, and relationships, and bad days, and callings, and life) woes

Lori Morris
You know those people who are just fabulous just because that is who they are...My new friend Lorrie is that way. I know that she doesn't know how much comfort I find in Cello music, but I know that Someone else does and used her to bless my life. I woke up grumpy one morning, but found a reason to smile when she sent me this video.

It was calming to my soul.

More Honest Words & Laughter & Someone Who Loves Me With My Mistakes
(Really, those all needed to be in caps)
Sometimes I mess things up. Sometimes those mistakes are bigger than Dallas, heck bigger than the whole state of Texas. Sometimes (Most of the time) I end up hurting people who are close to me when I do. And all the time I have a dear sweet friend who can be honest with me (even when I am not honest with myself), laugh with me, and still love me...Even with my mistakes. You know what they call that...
Charity.
(Something I am working towards possessing)
Thanks Stackhouse!

Crazy Dreams
One morning I had a crazy dream that made me laugh, right out loud! I dreamed I was the lead singer in Destiny's Child, we were on stage and I was singing my heart out to SURVIVOR. 3 problems with that:
1. I can't sing
2. I can't dance
3. Um...Let's not talk about it.
At least it is a good song to have stuck in your head ALL DAY right?

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

"We don't really know what we believe in or care

about until what we believe in or care about is

threatened, challenged or measured. "

(Sheri Dew, If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn't Be Hard)

cute story behind these pictures:

My nephew Hunter was so worried about the dirt getting on his Grandpa when he was buried. Thankfully the mortician was very kind and compassionate and took the time not only to show Hunter how they were going to keep the dirt off Grandpa, but also let him be very involved with helping. The first picture they are placing the cover over the casket "just to make sure no dirt gets on him", and the second Hunter is running the equipment to lower the casket.

A touching moment came with the third picture when Rustin, (little blonde in the white shirt tan pants next to Lane in the blue shirt) said "Good-bye Grandpa". This is a very raw picture, one where I think all of us were reminding ourselves that this wasn't forever, that thanks to the Plan of Salvation WE WILL see our Dad & Grandpa again. Looking forward to that day.

Memory Monday

2011-10-03T02:30:00.000-07:00

My Dad was amazingly smart. There have been a lot of times that I wish I was more like him in regards to his love for knowledge. He liked to read and study, and he was so full of information and always had the answers on how to do everything. Some of my favorite times were when he was helping me with school projects. Sadly, even at a young age I was known to procrastinate any major assignments I had, but Dad was always there to step in and save the day. I think I had the COOLEST science project (I remember I won a blue ribbon) in 4th grade when a few days before WE (mostly he because I didn't have any better ideas) decided to experiment and test the PH levels on common household products to see if they were an acid base or neutral. HONEST CONFESSION: before that I had absolutely no clue what those even meant before that project. He brought home some PH testing strips from the Paper Mill and away we went testing chemicals. I remember him helping me write everything up and Mom and Shell helping me put the poster together. When everyone else was hauling in their Volcano's that everyone else had been making for years I was the COOLEST thing ever because I had a project that no one else had ever seen before, and I learned something while I was doing it.

In 5th Grade when we were studying the development of America I had an assignment to create an Indian dwelling. This time I decided to make it interesting (Okay I procrastinated really bad) and started that project the night before. Well of course I decided to do a tee-pee, I started hot gluing my skewers in a circle, really creating a mess is what I was doing. I couldn't get it to stand up and it was covered in gobs of glue. Very patiently my Dad decided to set down and help me. We had a great time, cutting and lacing the small sticks together and then he helped me cover it with some brown material. Of course he had the eye for presentation so he helped me put it on a board and create a river to help it look better. I got an A on that project too.

In 8th grade science he helped me create a pop can smasher. Of course I was thinking of doing something small and simple...but nope Dad got involved and I had the best pop can smasher ever, complete with a whole just the perfect size to smash the cans to the smallest possible shape. He was just amazing like that and had such an eye for the details.

Another school project that he helped me create was in 2nd grade when he built a leprechaun trap. He did such a good job building it that it actually worked! We caught the leprechaun but he had his girlfriend with him and she was able to get them out and he got away. I know this because the leprechaun left me a note. This project got my picture in the local newspaper which I thought was pretty stinkin cool. My little sisters used the trap after me.

There is a popular country song out right now by Trace Adkins..."Just Fishin" that reminds me of this. While my Dad never took me fishing, I will always treasure the moments that he took with me to help me out with my school projects.

Memory Monday....Your participation is welcomed and encouraged and NEEDED

2011-10-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

"PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID...BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL."

Since loosing my Dad I have had a significant struggle realizing all of the things He is going to miss not being here. There has been a part of me that has been a little upset (Who I am trying to kid....I have been REALLY upset) in knowing that He won't be here (physically) for the big things - The weddings of his five daughters, the birth of his grandkids, surely their first serving of ice cream at a much younger age then suggested, their baptisms, their weddings, my days when I just need to talk to Dad, as well as the hundreds of sports events, concerts, reunions, camping trips, birthdays, and vacations. I have also shed many tears in the millions of little things (like the phone calls to ask how to fix my cooking) that make me miss him.

I think part of my reasoning for having thoughts about this is because both of my Grandpas passed away before my parents were even married. I always imagined what they would be like, how much they would spoil me, how fun it would be to set on their laps and have them tell me stories. I always wanted that for my kids, I wanted them to have a special connection with their Grandpa. Since someone else has a different plan than I do and decided he was needed elsewhere, I decided that I need to do things so that my kids (and husband) can know who their Grandpa was.

Long story short...I am going to do a Memory Monday Book with memories of my Dad. Hopefully I can get my Mom, Grandma, Siblings, Nieces, Nephews, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, ....everyone who knew my Dad on board to share some of their memories so that I can have them published in a nice big book full of stories to share about him. If you have a memory or any pictures that you would like to share (please oh please....even something you might think is simple will be something that we will treasure) please feel free to leave a comment here or you can e-mail me at becca.(dot)boo82@yahoo.com or beccapenrod82@yahoo.com

Thanks for all of your continued prayers, love and service to me and my family. How blessed we are to have such wonderful caring people in our lives.

Come What May, and Love It...The Start of Something FABULOUS

2011-09-30T16:36:00.000-07:00

I can remember very well a scene in my head from almost exactly five years ago. I was setting in my somewhat empty house, all alone; feeling like my world was over. My soon to be ex-husband had been in the process of moving out and I could feel things getting worse every day. Consistent with my actions at that time (Okay let’s be honest I still am guilty of this) I hadn’t slept for more than a couple of hours in days, needless to say I was an overly emotional, somewhat empty, brokenhearted person. Trying to find any hope at all I decided to that I was going to make a bargain with the Heavens. Of course I had been praying for a while that some magic fairy would come in, wave her wand and save the day and my marriage with her magic. That obviously hadn’t happened so I decided that I was going to put a little more faith and trust in my Heavenly Father, and if I was very prayerful and fasted (which wasn’t hard either since I was eating so well…or not) during conference then I expected to clearly receive the answer I had been looking for that was going to save my marriage. Well, to make a story shorter (Sorry I need to work on that) I sat down in front of the TV to watch the Saturday morning session, notebook in hand and proceeded to listen. There were some great talks that morning for sure, but none that spoke up and said “To fix all of your problems in life you need to…” like I was looking for, surprisingly enough.

Saturday afternoon I was yet again in tears (an almost constant state for me at the time) thinking that surely no one cared about me. I know, woe is me right… (please don’t feel bad, that isn’t the point of the story) when I set down to watch the afternoon conference I had started to lose faith that I was going to hear anything helpful and had decided that General Conference was only for those people who were perfect (because I knew so many at the time…right), it was only for those who weren’t struggling, who remembered who they were, it was for everyone else but me. Still, I and sat and watched…And then it happened. This kind old man who I imagined to be the sweetest Grandpa in the world got up to talk, and I was comforted. The whole time he was speaking I thought that surely this is how my Grandpa’s would be if either of them were alive. I fell in love with cute little Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, and I had a wonderful spiritual experience during his talk. The funny thing, he wasn’t talking about how to save your marriage, or how to overcome adversity. In fact his talk "Sunday Will Come", was nothing I thought I had been looking for. Still, with his words came a feeling of comfort and peace. I knew that I was not alone in my trials and that I had a loving Heavenly Father who was aware of exactly what I was going through, and that they wouldn’t last forever. My Favorite quote from that talk was is this:

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays.

But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come.

In this life or the next,

Sunday will come."

(Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, October 2006)

Now fast forward a couple of years to 2008…I am in Utah moving forward with my life. I would like to humor you all and tell you that I was a completely different person and that I didn’t have any struggles or cares at all. That is partly true, kind of. I had grown and become such a better person, (some people even considered me to be nice if you can believe that), but like everyone I still had my struggles. Sure, I wasn’t as deep in the dumps as I was during 2006, but I was still facing a little bit of the blues. Life just wasn’t going the way that I wanted it to, or the way I thought it should. I had spent the year before really taking care of myself, eating well and exercising like I should, even running a marathon. I thought for sure I would have been married and on my way to my happily ever after…But I wasn’t. Early that summer I had let the stress of my crazy job get to me and was currently dealing with stomach ulcers (thanks heavens for Malox, I could drink that stuff by the cups). So I couldn’t run anymore, I wasn’t dating Prince Charming, I wasn’t in school, work was so crazy…Blah Blah (I know…I have nothing at all to complain about) to say the least I was discouraged.

I found myself again looking for some words of wisdom to solve all of my problems as October conference rolled around. I will be honest and say that I was not as prepared for that conference the way I should have. At that time I was working too much and sleeping too little and so when my weekends rolled around I usually slept them away trying to make up for the lack of sleep during the week. Saturday morning conference was great…a great nap. I tried (not very hard) to stay awake and take notes but it just didn’t happen. Saturday afternoon rolled around and I had given up any hope of staying awake for the session. As they read the sustaining of the church officers I had a great “pondering session” about the Lehi’s dream. I thought I was out for the count, and then I heard it…The voice of the sweetest Grandpa in the whole world. This time he sounded a little older, but I knew he was going to say something great. I was right. Do you remember that talk, “Come What May, and Love It”… Who didn’t love that talk. Again, I imagined it would have been just what either one of my Grandpa’s would have said if they were still here so the talk became very personal to me. He discussed many things in his talk but his conclusion to that talk summed it all up:

"As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother,

“Come what may, and love it.”

(Joseph B. Wirthlin, October 2008)

I don’t know if you are anything like me, probably not, but sometimes I forget stuff. I forget in my moments of trials and heartache that there is a bigger plan. I get so focused on my own woe and misery that I forget to see the good in my life. And honestly there are times (Sometimes it minutes, sometimes hours, and yes, even still sometimes days) when I don’t want to see the good. I just want to wallow in my misery. As I have been attempting to focus more on the eternal perspective of things I have had a lot of thoughts that have brought me back to my Dad. I spend a lot of time thinking about how hard it has to be for him to see me upset like this. I don’t know about you, but I never liked disappointing Him, and I certainly don’t want to do it now. I know that He understands that this is hard, but I also know that He would want me to find ways to have strength again.

The last couple of days I have been having some thoughts about my perspective. I used to use a word a lot… A whole lot…everything in my life was “FABULOUS”. Sadly, that is a word that usually comes out of my mouth in a very sarcastic way anymore. In my attempt to “look for humor and seek an eternal perspective I have decided to start a “Fabulous Friday” post on my blog. It will be a place that I can “count my blessings” if you will and share the goodness of my life.

Now, I know, trust me, I know, there will be days when I don’t feel like there is anything “Fabulous”, but I also know that there are a lot of blessings, silver linings, tender mercies that I am missing because I am not looking for them. I hope that you don’t think this means that “I am over it” and that it doesn’t hurt that my Dad is gone, because it still does. Everyday. Most of the day. But I know my Dad would probably say “Come What May, and Love It”

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T04:13:00.000-07:00

And how THANKFUL I am that He does.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love

2011-09-22T18:48:00.000-07:00

A few of my loves:

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-21T19:26:00.001-07:00

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T06:10:00.000-07:00

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
We’re not just tossed by the wind,
or left in the hands of fate.
But sometimes life sends a storm that’s unexpected.
And we’re forced to face our deepest pain.

When I feel the heartache begin to pull me under...
I dig my heels in deep,
and I fight to keep my ground.
Still, at times the hurt inside grows stronger.
And there’s nothing I can do but let out...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel

isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

When I agreed that God could put this heart inside me.
I understood that there would be a chance that it would break.
But I know He knows exactly how I’m feeling...
And I know in time He’ll take the pain away.
But for now...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel

isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry.
Till every tear has fallen.
Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry.

I have felt joy,
the kind that makes my heart want to sing.
And so my tears are not a surrender,
I’ll feel that way again.

But for now...
For this moment...

Just let me cry.
I know it’s hard to see.
But the pain I feel.
Isn’t going away today.
Just let me cry. Till every tear has fallen.

Don’t ask when...
and don’t ask why.
Just let me cry

Hilary Weeks

Almost Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T10:05:00.000-07:00

Since you're up there watchin' me
Would you talk to God and say
Tell him I might need a hand
To see you both someday

Oh, my, my
So, I'll see you on the other side
When I make it
And it may be a long hard ride
But I want to take it
Sometime it seems that I don't have a prayer
Let the weather take me anywhere
But I know that I want to go
Where the streets are gold
'Cause you'll be there

(You'll Be There, George Strait)

Love You Dad

Missing You Already

Wordless Wednesday...Almost

2011-08-30T22:37:00.000-07:00

God, who oversees the interlacings of galaxies, stars, and worlds, asks us to confess His hand in our personal lives, too.

(see D&C 59:21)

Have we not been reassured about the fall of one sparrow and that the very hairs of our heads are numbered?

(see Matt. 10:29–30; D&C 84:80)

God is in the details!

Just as the Lord knows all of His vast creations, He also knows and loves each in any crowd—indeed, He knows and loves each and all of mankind!

(NAM October 2002)

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with.

2011-08-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

This week I got reminded of just how lucky I am. It was an extremely difficult week, but as always with those difficulties comes the opportunities for you to open your eyes and see the blessings that are there, right in front of you, just as they have always been.

As I bid a hard Good-bye to a dear friend who has changed my heart and helped me to want to be a better person I was welcomed with open arms of loving friends and family there to help me up while things are really bad. One of those people also get's honored with her picture here...as a the person that I do the silliest things with. She might not be the person I have done the most silliest things with, but she is the person I have done the last silly thing with. So here it is...the picture about to make it's internet debut. Hold on to your hats ladies and gents.... Drum roll please! (I know you can already see the picture so my intro is kind of anticlimactic...

This is my sweet friend Myndi and I at Girls Camp in June 2011. Here we had been transformed into "Abby & Cadabby" ready to make all of our Young Women's dreams come true. We also have Tu-tu's and tights on. Let me just tell you...I am fully aware that Orange isn't my color, but I would dress up this silly again in a heartbeat to get the look of joy that was on our Young Woman's faces as we honored and celebrated each one individually and encouraged them to work towards making their dreams come true. I might still be finding Orange Glitter in my hair!

I am so thankful for all the wonderful people in my life who are always there to help me remember who I am, especially when I forget.

And just to humor me, because I have the Third worst memory in the world...what is the silliest thing you and I have done together?

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

2011-07-25T13:34:00.000-07:00

So I have been thinking a lot about this post...The person who has gotten me through the most. Here is what I came up with.

(this is supposed to be a mirror)

YOU

Chances are if you are kind enough to read my blog you have probably had a part in helping me get through at least one difficult part of my life. You might have helped me make it through my terrible days in high school, you might have helped me get through my younger years when I was remembered for being the general of the childhood army, You might have helped me get through the decision of which boy I needed to like when I got Valentines day cards from two different secret admirers in fifth grade. Your part in my life might have helped me make it through an overwhelmingly happy time in my life. You might have helped me get through a particular calling in life. Who knows, you could have even helped me get through a time in my life when I thought my world was over and there was no hope anymore. You could be the person who helps me make it through today.

What ever part you play in my life please know that I appreciate it greatly. I know that sometimes I am not kind enough to say THANK YOU when it matters most, but please know right now...at this moment, my heart is so full of gratitude for all of those who have gotten me through one particular time in my life in some way.

When I Can't Speak

2011-06-05T01:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight, well...I just don't know. There are 9,072 things I need to be doing RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT, (I am leaving for Girls camp at 6 am on Monday morning) but I feel like I need to document some of the thoughts and feelings of my heart and life right now.

7 things....

Do you know how blessed I am? This week I have had some beyond amazing moments. It is amazing what you can see when you look for it. In part of my preparation for camp I have asked a few of the leaders and girls to be looking for ways that My Heavenly Father shows me He loves me. While this seems like a simple thing this has been an amazing experience. Do you want to know what some of those ways are: (Because I think ~~some~~ all of them are amazing)

I saw my Fathers love for me in the quite hours of 4:30 am when I was struggling with some Math homework and I just wasn't getting it, but after a simple simple prayer of "I NEED HELP" the heavens must have opened, and all of the sudden it clicked. I was able to finish my homework in speedy time restoring some home that I might actually make it through the week. ---On a side note, tonight I heard an amen to that experience during a conversation where the following song was mentioned.

I felt Heavenly Fathers love as He answered a very very direct and heartfelt prayer on behalf of someone who is very important in my life. As hard as it has been for me in my life, there have been times, lots of them actually where my prayers have not been answered in either the way that I thought they needed to be, or at the time I wanted them. This sometimes...well sometimes...okay honestly most times ends with me throwing some kind of temper tantrum. I knew as I got up from my knees after my prayer on Tuesday morning that not only did Heavenly Father hear that prayer and the prayers of others who had been praying for the same thing but that my righteous desires and prayers would have a happy answer...What a blessing that was. Honestly, I think the "Natural Bec" gets in the way to many times and I allow myself to hear or feel the answers. I wish it wasn't so, but most of the times when I am saying my prayers it is with one eye open (Not literally, but kind of) thinking of all the things I still have to do before I run out the door (I might also add that I am probably already 15 minutes late at that point) or I am bobbing my head like the crazy musician who really gets into her music, you know the ones I am talking about...the ones you worry about hitting the piano with their head because they are moving so much - because I am so so tired. Something I have on my list of things to work on.

Another way that I saw my Heavenly Fathers love was letting me see pictures of beautiful sunsets that were in the works for years, but never hit me quite like they did one night. I was able to go to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple with one of the sweet girls I was blessed to watch grow as I served in the young womens presidency. I felt the Love of the Father as I sat in the temple, knowing that My Heavenly Father knows me a lot better that I know me because He sees the Becca who will be, not the Becca who gets caught up in the lists of the places where I fall short in life. My Heavenly Fathers sees me as a peacemaker (I know what you are thinking...I had to pick my mother up off the floor when she heard someone describe me using that word as well) My Heavenly Father sees me as a special daughter of His who sometimes gets lost, and sometimes has to try to solve the problem every possible way before she finally and very reluctantly turns for help. But that night in the temple, my Heavenly Father saw me as his daughter who just needed to feel that it was going to be okay...Honestly, at this point in my life I do not know what okay is...Good things are in the works for me, Great things are in the works for me, but I know as I listened sweetly to what my ears would not hear I felt that sweet assurance.

Another way that Heavenly Father showed His love for me was through some of my best friends. Earlier in the week I was complaining in a prayer about how I just didn't know it was all going to get done with everything I wanted to do. The thought I had was that I needed to simplify... I still hadn't decided that was really the right course of action. After a long night of me complaining about how I had so much going on these sweet friends volunteered to help me, even when they aren't in my ward or in my calling. They helped me because of Love...they helped me because they care, they helped me because that is who they are. They helped me even after I offended them (Which I do often...Ladies I am sorry)...I thought that I had when I when I drove away....For Such a Time As This....

And fourth of all...yet another way that My Heavenly Father loves me is that He knows exactly what I need...I know I already said that, but seriously, He honestly knows. Months ago I approached a friend about participating in event the last couple of days that it JUST WHAT I NEED. I didn't know when I asked her about it that I was going to be called to help with girls camp, I did not know that I would finally follow the promptings to follow the Lord and quit my job without anything else lined up, I did not know that I would have yet another serious struggle because of others agency, and finally I did not know at that time back months ago that I would be ready to throw in the towel and just quit everything this week. I think Heavenly Father knew...Actually I know He knew. The event just happened to be the TIME OUT that I needed. Not only did I need to go to time out (Because I probably have done a lot of naughty stuff in the last few months that completely merit me going to time out) but I needed to go with some amazing ladies...

Stacy and I

The Group of Sweet Sisters...Even the adoptive one...
And check out that I am taller than Stacy ...heels are amazing
Cathryn, Kim, Me, Stacy

Kim, Stacy & I

Stacy was the very first friend I made in Utah. She and I worked together right after I moved up to Utah, and she was amazing. I can't tell you how many times I cried on her shoulder, she even let me get really mad when I needed to. She helped me to see that I could be a good person, something I was seriously doubting at that time. She filled a gap from a friendship that I lost because of my mistakes and bad choices.

God does notice us, and He watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.

Spencer W. Kimball

Today, as Mercy River sang "We All Need Saving" I felt my Heavenly Fathers love as I was reassured that Stacy and I were meant to help each other through some hard times together. I knew my Father loved me today enough to send the me more "Ah Hah" moments as one of the presents sang a very special song that I am sure was written just for me, but it might apply to you as well.

I am thankful that Heavenly Father won't give up on me. I am thankful for the ways He shows me that He loves me. I am thankful that He puts just the right people in my life, at exactly the right moment that I need them. I am thankful that He is with me through my trials, that through those trials I can learn and grow and be better. And something that I NEVER though I would say, I am thankful that He has given me this time to become, to become the best friend, wife, mother, person...the best Becca I can possibly be. I am thankful He knows what is in my heart, even when I can't find the words to speak.

And now, back to my list of 9,072 things I have to do before Monday 6 am. Hope you are doing well!

A Special Thank You,

2011-05-30T11:48:00.000-07:00

Thank you to the men and women, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers that have sacrificed their special moments...

so that I could have mine.

Happy Memorial Day

Day 8 - A picture that makes you laugh.

2011-05-01T21:38:00.000-07:00

Killing two birds with one stone tonight... Remember back a few weeks ago when I gave a preview of a certain sledding adventure. Well here it is, also covering a picture that makes me laugh. I don't think I could have done the experience justice with just one picture, so I included a slideshow!

Story behind the pictures: In February we went to my brother Jeremy's house for my nephew's baptism. After the baptism and an unsuccessful trip to Wal Mart to find sleds we decided to improvise in order to have a fun filled afternoon of playing in the snow. What makes a better sled than a bed liner for a pickup truck?? Nothing...Nothing at all actually. Not only is it perfect for sledding, you can also plow snow and fit a whole lot more people into it! We had a GREAT time. There may or may not have been an incident where I fell out of the back of the sled, successfully taking out two children on the sleds behind the bed liner and removing my sisters shoe. We had a great time, and even had a moment of temporary insanity where the older kids (including my brother) decided to ski on their boots in front of the "sled". It was SO MUCH FUN!! I don't think I had laughed that hard in a long time!

You know what they say....Go BIG or go home!

Hope you are doing well. Sorry I haven't been keeping up on my 30 days, there has been a lot of traveling happening in my world.

Day 7 ~ A picture of your most treasured item.

2011-04-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

It is hard to show a picture of something that I treasure so very much. The thing that I would like to share with you is this:

One of most treasured items is not really a tangible item, but something that is so very much a part of my life. It is my testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ. This is something that I have come to treasure as I have suffered from my choices and the choices of others. This is something that I have come to learn the hard way, through many many tears and trials.

"...Jesus would provide a way for us to be resurrected and, by His shouldering our punishment and guilt, a way to be cleansed. However, those would not be the end of His gifts. He also took upon Himself our infirmities and sorrows. He provided a way for us to be consoled through every trial. He suffered alone so that we would never have to do the same. Through His Atonement all of us can be covered, helped, comforted, and ultimately embraced."

(Brad Wilcox, The Continuous Atonement, 47)

As I have come to learn that My Savior didn't only feel the pains of my sins, but also of my heartache in the garden of Gethsemane and then again on the cross I have gained a greater love. I have felt not only the cleansing power of the atonement in my life, but on the days that I need it most, I have felt the healing power of the atonement. I have watched as He has helped me to change a broken and sad heart into a heart that could feel love once again. When I think about what was felt for me I can't help but think of "Oh it is wonderful, that He should care for me, enough to die for me" Yes, it is wonderful, wonderful to me.

Day 6 ~ A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

2011-04-17T20:53:00.000-07:00

A lady that I admire and would love to trade places for a day would be:

Wouldn't it be great to be her for a day! I know she has her fair share of challenges, but I would LOVE to have her wealth of knowledge and influence for a day. I would love to be able to have the spirit in my life they way that she does.

In my dreams, I am often asked to give talks to young people and Sheri Dew knows who I am,

kind of like the next Laurel Christensen.

I know...Keep Dreaming!

Quotes taken from Sister Dew's book "Saying It Like It Is"

Day 5 ~ A picture of your favorite memory.

2011-04-16T18:51:00.000-07:00

Can I make an honest confession: It seems like I have been doing a whole ton of that lately. Here it is... I don't really have favorites. I don't have favorite foods, favorite movies, favorite drinks...Maybe I am just weird. So when you ask for a picture of a favorite memory, well I don't really have one and only favorite but I do have a lot of really great ones. You might be involved in one or two of them. Here is one I will share:

Well kind of, this isn't really me, but imagine me in it

This year I was BLESSED to get to spend my Thanksgiving Day at a homeless shelter, serving corn. This was an extremely humbling experience for me that has changed my way of thinking and softened my hard heart.

One of the very most touching moments of the day happened when a little girl came through the line to get her dinner and started crying because she was so thankful that she got a roll that day. A simple piece of bread. I was trying hard to keep from crying my eyes out, but I looked at her sweet mother and just lost it. I am sure it was quite the sight: Me crying, the little girl crying, and the mom crying. I don't think for as long as I live I will ever forget that.

Day 4 ~ A picture of something you wish you could forget.

2011-04-14T21:56:00.000-07:00

A picture of something you wish you could forget.

This is actually been an very enlightening decision for me to do 30 days of myself. Good experience.

Here is a picture of something I wish I could forget:

Okay, so it's hard to get a picture of this. I wish I could forget all of the times I have disappointed and hurt people in my lifetime. I don't think there is anything harder than dealing with that pain. Maybe, I don't want to forget that because after all those times have all been learning experiences for me. Part of that learning has come from realizing that I can't fix everything, there are words I can't back, and actions I can't relive. But...knowing the hurt that I caused has led me to decide that there are some things I will never do again.

To those of you who fall in this list, people who I have hurt or disappointed - I sincerely apologize. I am sorry that my growth and learning had to come at your expense. Please know that I am trying hard to not make your suffering in vain. Thank you for helping me to be a better person.

Have a good night.

Day 3 ~ A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

2011-04-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

This one was funny. Here is a fact that you might know about me. I don't watch TV. Pretty much never. This causes great entertainment for some of my friends because they will name drop a famous actor and I am usually completely clueless as to who they are talking about. I also did not grow up watching TV. Most of the time this is a huge blessing in my life.

So because I don't have a better answer, one show that I have actually watched (Thanks to them being on DVD) and I think I may even own (not really sure because everything I own is in storage...still...)due to inheritance of the DVD's is M.A.S.H

My favorite was probably Radar. He was an innocent guy who turns red a lot, kind of reminds me of me a little bit!

Day 2 ~ A picture of something you want to do before you die.

2011-04-12T23:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, this one was harder than I thought it would be:

I always thought I wanted to do this:

But I am really not sure who I am trying to kid with that. Truth is: I am a chicken and I hate high places, and I really don't think I could fall out of a perfectly good airplane. Just don't think I could make that one happen.

What I really want to do before I die is this:

Before I die, I want to be a Mom.

I realize that other things have to come first, but there you have it!

PS - please don't think this is turning into a desperate "Woe is me" blog. I know that someday I will have this blessing, and while I am waiting I am still enjoying life.

Day 1

2011-04-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

So I decided to steal something from my little sister Stef, that I think is totally fun. So for 30 days I get to document things about me. (Since no one reads this anyway, and eventually I will turn this into a book working for my journal)

Day 1:A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

I HATE pictures of myself
since the best most recent picture I have of me is below I will forgo the picture on this one.

Fifteen Facts:

1. I come from a family of 10 kids. I love it and feel bad for people who don't have very many siblings.

2. I have over 100 first cousins! Wish I could keep in touch with them all...well most of them. Just Kidding!

3. I have run 1 marathon in my life and hoping I can soon say that I have ran 2!

4. I don't like change.

5. I don't handle taking medicine very well, it makes me really crazy! (See my first post from January 2011) I
do and say things that I would not normally do.

6. When I was a teenager I wanted to start a school for Bums...I thought it would be a great source of income. My plan was to teach them how to be a good bum and then charge them 10% of their income for a month.

7. I LOVE working with teenagers. I think they could be the greatest group of people in the world.

8. I am not domestic in any way. I can't cook, sew, make cute crafty projects or bake. But I know people who do, and I am not afraid to call them for help.

9. I believe in fairy tales coming true and happily ever after.

10. I believe that anything worth having is worth working for. Things that come to us easily are usually not fully appreciated.

11. When I grow up I want to be a Mom

12. When I was little I used to pretend among many other things that I was Reba, and I was married to George Strait.

13. I wish that I could be described as a charitable person.

14. I often have the best of intentions, but rarely follow through. I like to celebrate when I do!

15. I love Music. Most often my thoughts in my head or my communications are through a song.

Hope you are doing well.

Rustin...

2011-04-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't already know...I am one lucky lady. One of the reasons I am so lucky is because I have sweet nephews and nieces. In February I was privileged to go to my sweet nephew Rusty's baptism. He is such a sweet little kid (most of the time). I always feel so honored to be part of these sweet kids life.

Jeremy's Family

Flashing our signature "I LOVE YOU" Sign...Specifically for Aunt Kristin today

Grandpa and Grandma with a few of the best kids in the world...I was so happy to see Colton there

Grandma & Grandpa with Rustin

There are not many things that warm my heart like seeing these kids. It brought tears to my eyes as we pulled up to Jer's house and my sweet little Colton came running out of the house to welcome me. I sure do miss these kids and wish I had more opportunities to spend time with them.

RJL - I am so proud of the choice that you made to get baptized. I know that Heavenly Father is also very proud of you. Keep doing what you are supposed to and you will continue to be blessed.

2011-03-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Lisa Mahan… The Great!

My Friend Lisa Mahan, who is absolutely wonderful asked me to help her with her wedding. It was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed it. It isn’t the easiest planning a wedding for a girl who hates wedding dresses and who doesn’t have her wedding planned out in every detail, but I had a blast! Thanks for letting me help Lisa.

I also helped with her bridal shower, which was basically just a big party. They trusted me enough to make Cafe Rio Salads, (Thanks Amy for the help and the vote of confidence). Thanks Stacy, Kristi & Holly for helping me.

(Becca, Stacy, LISA, Coral, & Rylie)

Her wedding reception was a lot of fun. We found a cute reception center where the woman in charge was an absolutely wonderful lady. It was fun to work with her, and she made the event perfect!

The Square Cupcakes, made by Carissa from Carissa's Cakes. They were so yummy and darling! And Carissa is so great to work with.

Lisa always joked and said she wanted a tie-dye wedding dress… Well WE couldn’t find one so we decided to make her a tie-dye garter instead.

PS… This could be my new hobby. It was actually really fun, and not to messy. If you want instructions on how to do it let me know, it was super super easy.

I feel so very blessed to be part of Lisa & Hondo’s life. They are wonderful people who are great examples to me. I am so happy for them.

Here is a fun pics from after the reception... I am kind of bummed, I got some with Lisa and Hondo in them, but my eyes are closed in all of them. Typical for me.

Coral & her little Nib... That's Me. She requested that I stand next to her during the reception because I made her feel tall.

Proof that I am short.

Coral, the Niblet, Rylie & My good buddy Wes

Love you guys!

Still don't have time or creativity but I LOVED this

2011-03-06T21:22:00.000-08:00

When I was in the YW presidency we had a darling lady come speak to us about being our best self. She was so inspiring so I was in HEAVEN when I found her blog. She is very creative and very inspirational. Here is something that I took from her blog. http://rhonnadesigns.blogspot.com

Please go check it out for yourself, you will love it!

Make the world better today... Go Ahead, YOU can do it. I have faith in you!

A preview of what's to come

2011-02-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

It has been a busy two months! Really busy!! I am not in school this semester, and in January I thought....This will be so nice to be able to relax. Well life has a great way of keeping you busy doesn't it.

I really planned on blogging tonight, but I am not feeling very creative so here is a preview of what's to come

Lisa's Bridal Shower

Rustin's Baptism
Sledding (Redneck Style)
Weekend with Ryann

Me attempting to be domestic and crafty

A possible new hobby

Lisa's Wedding

and the No Snow 5K indoor run while pushing kids in a stroller!
Hope you are all doing well! Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

One of my loves in life

2011-01-31T20:12:00.000-08:00

Since I claim the ownership of this blog I get to choose what I write about … Right!

Well today I want to brag about my cute little sister:

Hermana Penrod

(Don’t worry boys she will be home in November)

Kris is serving in Chile right now, and I is loving it.. It is such a highlight for me every week to hear how her testimony is growing. I can honestly say I think she is going to come back as a spiritual giant.

Last week I was reading in the Book of Mormon in Jacob 5 – And I came across this scripture that made me think of her:

71 And the Lord of the vineyard said unto them: Go to, and labor in the vineyard, with your might. For behold, this is the last time that I shall nourish my vineyard; for the end is nigh at hand, and the season speedily cometh; and if ye labor with your might with me ye shall have joy in the fruit which I shall lay up unto myself against the time which will soon come.

I am so very grateful for the blessings that are coming to my life because she is choosing to serve the Lord. She is such a good example to me and I love her so very much!

Here is a part from one of my favorite letters of hers:

Sunday was an amazing day but also a crazy day. Why? Because JAVIERA ALLENDE GOT BAPTIZED. Her parents are less active of years and we found them one day not to long after we got to this sector and were out knocking doors looking for investigators. Well the great news is the family is now active and Javiera is baptized but Sunday was a mess. Her dads records were not here and it took the assistants to the president calling someone to get them here. Well the family went out of town thursday night and were not coming back till saturday. Friday Night the bishop called us looking for them because he had finally recieved the records for Jorge her father. Well Saturday night came and he still was not interviewed so they told us that Elder Smith was going to be doing the baptism. Sunday Morning Everything is all set and ready to go. After the meetings we are out taking pictures with Javiera and Elder Smith all dressed in white when the ward mission leader walks up with Hermano Allende and says he is going to baptize her. THe bishop had interviewed him during the last meeting and we were all set to go. So Both he and elder smith changed clothes and then Elder Smith and the Ward Mission leader taught him the prayer and what he had to do in about ten minutes. After this we went in and found out that the ward mission leader had lost the program we had given him for the baptism and decided to change everything well we were able to set a few things right but it was so confusing and disorganized. Hermana Miguel kept saying I promise that every baptism is not like this one. But all the confusion of who was gonna baptise the poor girl was worth it when you saw both of them enter the water and then hug each other after the baptism. I think it was one of the happiest moments of my life it was amazing and so wonderful to see her come out of the water and know that she was clean and pure of everything. Hermano Allende had to baptize her twice because he was afraid to do and her hand stayed out the first time. And then of course after this Javeria decided to go swimming in the font. Silly girl. When she bore her testimony afterwards the spirit was so strong it was great and worth coming on a mission just for that. THe whole family has changed so much since we first met them and started teaching them and to me this is proof that Heavenly Father knows us, knows where we are, and what we need. He sends people to find us just at the right moment.

Keep up the good work Hannah!

***** After I did this blog I got an e-mail from my Dad, which said that Kris was going to be working as a trainer, Training a new sister who is coming to the Mission. The letter said She has been chosen because of her example of love, obedience, ability and personal commitment to missionary work.

Starting out on the left foot...

2011-01-02T15:06:00.000-08:00

This morning I got lost. Well actually I woke up lost. In my house. I took some NyQuil last night before I went to bed to try and help me with a fever and flu bug I have been battling. I forgot to lock my door to my room. I go crazy when I take medication. Apparently I got up sometime during the night and went to another bedroom to sleep. Probably running away from the spiders that were trying to attack me in my dreams. I don't remember. I didn't know where I was when I woke up, and I screamed. Really loud. Glad I am home by myself so no one could hear me. Go Ahead and laugh. It is funny now.

A Giant Birthday Cake

2010-12-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

Last night I realized I was missing something. When I was a little girl I remember waiting for forever for Santa Clause to come. It seems like he couldn't get here fast enough. For weeks I would think about what Christmas would be like, what I was going to get. I don't have that anymore, I honestly think it is because this month has been so full of the hustle and bustle of December. I have had a terrible problem of taking on way too much on this month, and not meaning to complain but because of that I feel like I haven't been able to fully enjoy the month. There have been a lot of things that I have wanted to do, but the reality is they probably aren't going to happen because I have just run out of time (and energy). *

I have taken a few quick moments this season to read a book by Emily Freeman called "A Christ Centered Christmas". It has been a really good learning experience for me. One of the things that I love that she shared was when she talked about driving somewhere with her young daughter and after singing a Christmas carol her daughter said "Mom, I believe in Santa Clause and you believe in Jesus Christ" I thought that was cute! From that she decided that she needed to do a better job at teaching her children the real meaning of Christmas.

When I saw the following video I couldn't help but think of that cute little girl who believed in Santa Clause and know that while she probably does believe in Santa Clause she also believes in Jesus Christ. I love the excitement of Christmas that little kids have.

Now this is a completely rhetorical question but I am going to throw it out there. What are you going to do today to help light up the world? I hope that during the "busy busy" of the day you can find sometime to accomplish that. May you find a moment to remember the real reason we are celebrating.

Have a good night!
-----------------------
On a personal note: I am heading to a new doctor tomorrow, meaning more tests. Hopefully she can figure out what is wrong with me! Looking forward to what she has to say!

*You are probably thinking "What the heck...if you didn't spend so much time writing this blog that nobody reads you would have a lot more time in the world. My response to that is this: Yes you are 100% right but this is one of the 3 things that is keeping me sane and somewhat focused this year.

Hope

2010-12-12T19:38:00.000-08:00

"Before faith or knowledge is found, before joy or happiness is experienced, before the healing begin, one emotion starts to stir from deep within the depths of despair. It is hope." - Emily Freeman

The last few months I have had many many opportunities to reflect on hope, to evaluate what I hope for, and to realize what I hope in. I was able to attend Time Out for Women twice this year, the theme this year was infinite hope. One of my favorite things that I took away from the meeting was this - The things I find Hope in will sustain me while I wait for the things on my hope for list to happen. How great is that! I love it when a simple truth hits me on the head and just make since but brings me comfort and peace and clarity.

This Christmas season I have had many opportunities to recognize HOPE in my life. I have hope in the atonement of Jesus Christ, I have hope in the Lords plan of happiness, I find hope in a knowledge that my Savior and Father in Heaven know me personally. I find HOPE in the knowledge that my Savior does not make up the differences in my life, but that He makes all the difference. I find HOPE in knowing that He will be with me in my darkest hours, to help me and comfort me, to give me strength and help me see JOY!

This weekend my hope increased... I was so blessed to spend one last weekend with two of the cutest kids in the world. After spending about 3 hours of trying to keep Mason asleep and finally figuring out He would stay asleep if he could feel my hand My HOPE was strengthened and increased. I find HOPE in knowing that someday I will be able to be a mother. My hope was increased again when I read the blog of a sweet example in my life who was able to take her 2nd little adopted angel to the Temple to be sealed to their Family. Hope is alive in me, and I know it is because I have a Father who loves me.

I love the following clip from Elder Holland. Someday's it is hard for me to realize that I am not in charge, and than all of my blessings won't come when I demand them, but I have HOPE that they will come!

May you all find hope in this Christmas season.

Where's the line to see Jesus

2010-12-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

So... I have decided if I want to have a Christ centered Christmas I need to center my life around Christ. Pretty simple right, but that is me, most of the time I put way to much work into thinking of a solution that I miss the simplicity of the real answer. I have found a lot of really good ideas from a book by Emily Freeman "A Christ Centered Christmas".

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is always going to the Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean. I have seen this show quite a few times (It is on DVD) and every single time I am completely touched and taken back by what seems to be a different part of the program. Of course I will be honest and say I cried through the whole thing but there was several parts that particularly called my name.

A song that for years has touched my heart "What I need"

All I ever wanted,
All I ever dreamed of
Everything I hoped
And all the things I prayed for
Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given
I've been given what I need

No mansion on a hill
Or Love like in the movies
Perfect little dreams
Where no one has a problem
Instead of all those things I thought I really wanted
I've been given what I need

Even when I didn't understand
When I thought you had no heart
Thank you for rejecting my demands
And always giving me the better part

All I ever wanted,

All I ever dreamed of

Everything I hoped

And all the things I prayed for

Couldn't hold a candle to what I've been given

I've been given what I need

(Michael McLean)

-----

Now don't call me crazy, I still wish for things - - Prince Charming, perfect Children, a house, to be finished with school. But I know that right now at this very moment in my life I have what I need. I firmly believe that there will be a time and a place for those things in my life, but it's not today.

How thankful I am for the times that my loving Father in Heaven has said "No" even to some of the very most righteous desires of my heart. In the last four years I feel like I have grown up a lot and become more of who I was meant to be instead of a selfish little girl who I had been. How thankful I am for a patient Father in Heaven who doesn't give up on me, even when I give him plenty of grief.

What a blessing it is to me to have this holiday season to remember and try to give thanks for the wonderful gift of the Savior of the world. May we all find time to remember Him this month. May we spend as much if not more time looking for Jesus as we do for Santa

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=pPViKJRHyZo&vq=medium

To start the season:

2010-11-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

Confession: I like many of you want to be a better person. I want to be more Christ like, more giving, more quick to lend a hand, less selfish, slower to judge, a better peacemaker. I have had several thoughts on my mind especially the last month, and I have come to a decision. This holiday season I want to make it a truly "Christ Centered Christmas"... I am looking for any ideas to help me accomplish this. Any suggestions?

Happy Veterans Day

2010-11-11T20:46:00.000-08:00

Ray Stevens- Thank you

2010-11-11T20:45:00.000-08:00

One Year Older and Wiser too....

2010-11-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOLLY

To Me you are:

Someone who knows me and still loves me

Someone who knows when I need a hug

Someone who makes me smile when you think of them
Someone to think about when the windows rattle in a storm

Someone who makes the world a better place by just being there
Someone who accepts me for who and what I am
Someone who stands by me even on your off days
Someone who would walk through pouring rain to pick a flower for me
Someone to laugh, cry or play with me when you need a friend
Someone to help me in the tough times but let me learn from my mistakes
Someone who knows what I am worth it
Someone who takes time out of her crazy busy life of being a mom and wife to make sure I get a spiritual message just for me
Someone who is great, just because you are you
Someone who I miss everyday, but I know you are always there when I need you
Someone who is patient with me, even when I don't call or write
Someone who I can't imagine not being in my life
Someone I thank Heavenly Father for every day

I hope that you have a great day! Wish I could be there to enjoy it with you. Love you tons!

ps...Don't die of shock, but your present is in the mail!

But if not...

2010-10-12T20:59:00.000-07:00

Do you ever look at your life and think "I thought it would be different" or "When I am 25 I am going to be..." Hold that thought, I may get back to it.

So as told in my last post, changes were coming, and most of those changes have come. On September 19th, after putting on a lovely "Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful" ball for our Young Women and their dads the night before I was released from my calling as the first councilor in the Young Women Presidency. While I had had weeks to prepare for the release it was still really hard. I have come to love the Young Women and the leaders who I was blessed to serve with so much. My visiting teacher hit the nail right on the head when she said "It's like your loosing your family". I feel like that! These wonderful young ladies have become some of my closest friends as we have served together, prayed together, fasted together, cried together, worried together, spent a lot of really late nights talking together, and loving each other together.

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected."

~Nicholas Sparks

It has been really hard adjusting to it, and still after a month I still wake up on Tuesday morning stressed about what we are doing for our activity, and remembering what I forgot I said I would do and then forgot to do. I have had a few of those "Are they going to be alright without me" feelings, and there have been times that I still just break right down and cry like a baby. Call me crazy but I hate change. I thought I would be a lot less busy, but not true! I am still just as busy, but I think it is a different busy now. I have actually been able to pick up another class on Tuesday night which has been nice.

Segueing on... But if not...

I loved LOVED LOVED! watching General Conference a couple of weeks ago. Can I make an honest confession? Yes I can because this is my blog ... This was the first time in a REALLY long time that I actually watched or listened to all the sessions. There were so many messages that I needed to hear. I felt so very good about life after it was over. One distinct impression was that I needed to earnestly pray for the things that are important to me and be more diligent and say more heartfelt prayers. That Sunday night after conference I had a very interesting experience, similar to ones I have had in the past where I say something in my prayer and think THAT IS NOT WHAT I WAS THINKING!, in other words a small answer, usually having to do with the condition of where my heart is and where it needs to be. Anyway I am praying away pouring out my heart about something I really want and something that is a good thing and then out of my mouth comes the words: "BUT IF NOT" what!!! Yep it actually came out of my mouth. I decided this was a lesson I really need to learn. When I was a little girl I had my life planned out perfectly down to the color of hair my children would have. I was going to be successful, the coolest mom on the block(probably because that was my mom), and the most popular lady in the ward (yah, I am not really sure where that one came from). When I moved to Utah I was going to finish my degree in 2 years and be making my millions... hopefully you get my point, life hasn't exactly turned out the way I thought it would, but that doesn't mean it can't be happy. I think that I need to learn right now that it is really great to have dreams and plans and to work towards making those dreams come true "BUT IF NOT" it is just fine to be happy and bloom right where you are planted.

Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

~ Margaret Lee Runbeck

"BUT IF NOT" I need to remember that I am not alone in this life that I have a Heavenly Father and a Savior who love me, and that I am truly blessed. The times when I feel alone are the times that I stop looking for those who love, looking for those who care, looking for those who want to see me be happy.

My release from Young Womens has left with the opportunity to make some decisions (Yuck)! The biggest of where I want to go to church. While I have loved and needed to be in the family ward I decided to start attending a singles ward (AAAAHHH). Now please don't take this as a plea to fix my current marital status - Not the purpose at all. I have just felt like I needed something to shake me up and make me grow a little bit (WOW!! I can't believe I actually admitted that out loud, hope it doesn't backfire on me) and that a singles ward is the place to do that. I actually went to my first one on Sunday, and I survived. It didn't feel like home yet, but it will get there... "But if not"...

Hope you are all doing well. Please let me know if I can do anything for you.

If you were an adjective

2010-09-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

joy (joi)

1.a. Intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness.

b. The expression or manifestation of such feeling.

2. A source or an object of pleasure or satisfaction:

3. The feeling I had after being able to go to my Brothers wedding & go to Seattle to see some of my favorite people.

ex·haus·tion (g-zôschn)

1. The act or an instance of exhausting.

2. The state of being exhausted; extreme fatigue:

3. The feeling I had after driving to Arizona,

spending less than 36 hours there, driving home

and then flying making a quick one day trip to Seattle.

Conclusion:

It was worth every minute of it.

So, August 15th I got a call saying that my brother Jeff was getting married on the 21st. I love it when people preface a conversation with "It's really not that big of deal", especially when it involves my family. Everything is a big deal, especially a wedding! I have seen people who have dealt with feeling like they are "no big deal" and I never want any of my family to ever feel like I think they are "no big deal". Okay, stepping off my soap box, I was able to make travel arrangements with my Jeremy to drive to Arizona Friday night after work. We were about 4 hours later on our trip than I wanted to be, but we had a good time.

We spent Saturday morning getting the "Old Chev" in working order so we could take it for a drive, and then after running out of gas, jumping it twice we made it to Feezors to catch the monster catfish. Note to self.... When you tell the 5 year old that in order to catch the big fish you have to be quite you are going to end up with this:

No one could even move without him "shusshing" us. It was cute for maybe the first 20 seconds but it got old really fast.

Of course the big fish decided to hibernate at the bottom of the lake so after about 45 min or so the boys decided that swimming was much more fun which turned into Dee becoming a human diving board. I think they all had fun though:

Saturday afternoon was the wedding. It was so very simple, but so pretty, and very moving. I am so happy that Jeff and Amy have found each other. They have both had very difficult lives but are a good support to each other. I look forward to getting to know her better and am so happy she is part of our family!

After the wedding we all went to dinner and had so much fun. It is days like that I miss being closer to family.

Sunday Morning Jer's& his boys were up at the crack of dawn, and we were headed for home. It was a fun little road trip with the four of them. I made it home that night in time to get my stuff packed and try and get to sleep so that I could wake up at 4 am the next morning to catch my flight to Seattle for work.

I will spare you all the details of the trip and stick to the important parts: Washington is beautiful (the weather was nice that day), Traffic from Seattle to Olympia is crazy, I loved spending time with my sweet niece Shaina Dawn, Cheesecake factory food is nothing to write home about but the cheesecake makes up for it for sure, My cousin Doug & his wife have a super cute baby and I don't travel well!

Funny story - - - My legs are too short to touch the floor in the airplanes and so my legs are usually dead by the time and killing me by the time my flight is over. I wore my tall heavy shoes on the flight and I was considering amputation at one point on the return flight.

Needles to say after that trip I was in bed for a day trying to recover but like I said it was worth every minute of it.

~~
P.S. Jami I don't know if you read my blog anymore but if you do I hope that you had a happy birthday. I remembered that it was your birthday as I was flying out to Seattle. I hope that you were able to make it as fun as you wanted!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So back to the title question: What is the first adjective that you use to describe yourself?

Hope you are doing well....big changes are coming for me, stay tuned for the next post!

Please let me know if I can do anything for you!

I'm Engaged!!!

2010-08-27T23:39:00.000-07:00

Made you look didn't I. Okay so maybe I should explain....

You were probably thinking something like this right?

Well my life isn't that exciting!

I am talking about this:

Gotcha didn't I

One of UVU's Slogans or programs or focuses is "Engage"

After a lot of study and decision making I am once again registered for a semester at Utah Valley.

I started classes this week and I am looking forward to yet another semester of my track to be an eternal student.

Hope this finds you all well!

Ps - Someday I might actually update on what is going on with my life.

Someday....

Today was a fairy tale...

2010-06-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

actually this week has been a fairy tale. Maybe not the kind that you read about it all of the books, not the one you watch on TV, not the one you will tell to your daughters as a bedtime story but the story of an ordinary girl. There was no prince on a white horse ( darn it ). There was however a wicked queen and some very naughty goons, but there presence in the story is only one of anger and disgust. Sometimes the girl in our story lets these naughty goons and many others make her feel like she is small, worthless, and insignificant.

Over the years I have been exposed to many beautiful languages—each of them is fascinating and remarkable; each has its particular charm. But as different as these languages can be, they often have things in common. For example, in most languages there exists a phrase as magical and full of promise as perhaps any in the world. That phrase is “Once upon a time.”

Aren’t those wonderful words to begin a story? “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”

Isn’t that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?

Today I want to draw your attention to something very significant, very extraordinary. On the first page of your Young Women Personal Progress book, you will find these words: “You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose."

While this week has been chalk full of challenges and moments when I wanted to scream, cry, and go back to bed this week has also been full of a lot of good. I was able to hear encouraging words that made me want to look for the positive, and while I wasn't perfect at it (especially after being at work until 10:30), it is something I want to keep working on. I was able to attend a fabulous fireside where President Uchtdorf spoke to us about our fairy tales (Italics sections). Friday night I was blessed to go to the MTC devotional where I got to spend a little time with my sweet Hermana. I am so exited for her to serve in Chili. She has grown so much, in leaps and bounds and is ready to share the gospel. Friday I was able to attend a beautiful temple session with some dear friends. Probably the icing on the cake came today as I once again was able to spend some time with President and Sister Monson at the MTC. This is my 3rd year doing this, and I always feel so honored and blessed. The things I remember from Pres. Monson's talk was that even when we think we can't do things, if we will make the Lord our constant companion we will accomplish. But the fairy tale.... Yes the fairy tale came this afternoon when the girl of our story realized that She is not alone in this life, and that every trial and challenge, victory and success are just helping her to create her "happily ever after".

Sisters, those words are true! They are not made up in a fairy tale! Isn’t it remarkable to know that our eternal Heavenly Father knows you, hears you, watches over you, and loves you with an infinite love? In fact, His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension. Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.”

Today, I am filled with hope, knowing that even when things don't turn out the way I think they should, or the goons and goblins come and try to tear me apart that someone else sees a bigger picture. He knows who I will become, and thankfully He is patient enough to help me get there.

...And the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.”

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

A happy day indeed -

2010-06-20T07:00:00.000-07:00

Confession: I completely forgot all about fathers day... Actually I might have remembered it once, but it was only to remember to do something about it later...

With that being said, I have spent a lot of time the last few days thinking of all the wonderful fatherly examples in my life, particularly that of my own Dad.

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.

~Gloria Naylor

How true this is in my life. I know growing up I couldn't wait to get away from home, but now I sit back and have fond remember when memories of times that my dad and I shared together. I remember one time in Young Womens we had a daddy daughter date where we decorated cakes...He had the best looking porcupine cake in the room.

My dad taught me how to change the oil and change a tire. He taught me how to love my mother as I watched him care for his mother. He taught me how to hit a ball, I still let the first pitch go by because that is what he does.

How thankful I am that my Dad was brave enough to love a lady and her four boys and continue to create a wonderful family that while we may not be perfect we are working on it. I am also grateful that he was willing to do what it took to get our family to the temple. I don't think I will ever forget walking into the sealing room, I don't think I really understood what was happening since on the trip to Mesa I asked my dad where they were going to get jars big enough to "seal" us in. I do remember knowing that it was forever.

My Dad has always worked hard to provide me with the opportunities I wanted. He listened painfully through violin practices, piano lessons, me singing "I am a princess" at the top of my lungs. He has watched a hundred concerts, set through a lot of parades and football games. I always knew that even when he wasn't there physically he was thinking of me, and he wanted to be there.

My Dad taught me to enjoy nature and the beauty in it. Some of my favorite memories involve a camping trip. He taught me to slow down and just appreciate it. He helped me discover the joys of traveling to see new places, even if I didn't appreciate it at the time. He has given me a love for all history. He has taught me the importance of patriotism, and the love for God and country. It is hard for me to hold back the tears every time I see him stand and put his hand over his heart in reverence for the flag and our beautiful country.

People who know my dad often tell me that I have his eyes. My dad has beautiful blue eyes, and I am always amazed that people would compare our eyes.

I am so very grateful for my Dad, and when I think of all the things that he has done for me it makes my heart want to sing, and I am filled with happiness indeed.

So today, from a million miles away, I wish you a Happy Fathers Day!

The greatest gift I ever had

Came from God; I call him Dad!

~Author Unknown

I love you Dad!